All the Pretty Things: Strangled at Birth
by Master of the Boot
Summary: Seras Victoria is thrust into the dark heart of the vampire world to serve as the Vampire King's slave. Under his sadistic rule, Seras will have to fight for both her life and her sanity. rated for gore and sex. Not for the squeamish
1. Intro

All the Pretty Things: Strangled at Birth

Summary: Seras is made into a vampire by the master Santino. Unfortunately for her, she is made into the secretary of the King of Vampires; a bloody beast of a man who's as sadistic as he is hideous. Join her as she strugles to emerge with her sanity intact. AU of the story _Lovely Creatures_ by SweetTwilightvamps.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing or any other trademarked characters. This is a non-profit endeavour

_Sophia, Bulgaria_

The ancient and gothic university Sophia of St. Klement from Ohrid was a magnificent building that looked like it had been designed by Tim Burton after popping a few tabs of acid and chasing it down with a few gulps of booze and a deep breath of ether fumes. Even at this late hour, students were still coming and going.

The university was located conveniently near the St Ciril and Metodius National Library, a bus stop and a ridiculously bright and cheerful flower garden that even Cthulhu's dark miasma wouldn't be able to smother.

At present, a squad of vampires was showing up with a junior vampire in tow.

Seras Victoria was a newly made vampire with spiky blonde hair and a body that would appear normally on the cover of a plastic surgeon advertisement magazine. As a human, her giant breasts has hurt her back and turned the male of the species into heartless sex hounds.

Human men and back problems would never plague her now as she was a member of the stately brotherhood of the undead.

Seras looked at the university and her vampires eyes took in things no human noticed. For example, by the light of the moon no human would have been able to see the team of snipers hidden among the gargoyles; the first line of defense in the stronghold within.

The snipers appeared to be human except Seras keen nose detected a strong scent of wolf among the snipers.

Turning to her right, Seras addressed the vampire woman to the right of her. "I'm sorry, why did you all bring me here again?" It hadn't been a day since her maker had given her some of his blood before killing himself.

The diminutive vampire woman turned to Seras with dark, crazy eyes. "The plastic sex doll comes with us to have cake in the pimp daddy's house in order so that the grand pimp will not slap us."

Seras looked at Drusilla with restrained surprise on her features. "Right," she said. Then she turned towards Darla. "What the fuck did she just say?"

Darla, a former member of the Scourge of Europe smiled in a reassuring way that left Seras feeling like there were worms crawling up her spine. "When we saw that your master had died, we were so full of concern. We simply had to give you a place in our lord's house, for he is in great need since his last secretary retired."

Seras wasn't so sure about this. Despite what these vampires said, she severely doubted their concern for her wellbeing. She then turned to the vampire who once had been a French aristocrat. "What's this vampire king like? Is he a bit mad?"

Lestat was a rather boastful and arrogant bastard who favoured designer labels on his clothing and sexually preferred the pretty boys. A famous playboy and hedonist, he was by far the most honest and straightforward with Seras in this group. "Mad," he chuckled airily. His smile turned into a scowl. "He's terrible. If you don't wish to be killed outright, you will always refer to him as either Master or Sacred Ancestor."

This frightened Seras because for the short time she'd known him he'd come across as the kind of care free devil may care cad who laughed at everything. If he wasn't laughing then something must be bad—it must be _bad_ bad.

It was then that Seras was startled by the freaky vampire child, Bartolome. Physically resembling a little boy, the lad was a powerful vampire who could kill a hundred people just by thinking of it. He was the power of this not exactly inconsiderable group. "Just move, you fucking cow." It was jarring to hear such adult and callous words from such a sweet, cherubic face.

With no further explanation of any sort, the vampire Radu took Seras hand and started to walk her towards the entrance of the Sacred Ancestor's lair.

Getting past the werewolf snipers, they entered the main administration building and went through a secret passage way.

From the gothic world above, Seras suddenly found herself walking into hell or the next best thing.

Seras, Radu and the vampire crew stepped into a cavern hewn from the bedrock. Stalagmites hung from the ceiling; cast into hideous relief by the blood red lamps which were strung across the rock surface. The lighting made it look like everything was covered in blood.

In trenches cut crudely into the rock worked armies of the Vampire King's devoted slaves. Metal workers pounded iron and steel to make knives, swords, guns and whatever was mean and deadly. The pounding of hammers and the wheeze of bellows was deafening and Seras had to cover her ears.

Skilled bomb makers in heavy bomb disposal suits zipped to and fro on roller skates with their deadly wares. Gunsmiths forged guns with greater skill than the world's greatest arms manufacturing companies.

On some platform, Seras saw a giant, muscular man with red skin and massive horns. He was a demon and guiding along a large, shaggy monster that hauled along a hundred ton block of gold like it was made of wood.

Standing guard were human servants of the lord vampire, labouring under the promise that one day they would join his army of the undead. The guards were a perverse lot; pedophiles, sexual predators, mass murderers, genetic fuckups and the criminally insane.

A pair of guards armed with shotguns and dressed in nothing but leather bondage masks and tight underwear bowed before the advancing group of vampires.

One of the forges here was bellowing smoke as workers poured molten steel into a vast pot. A guard dressed like a Russian soldier cracked a whip to encourage the labourers to perform better and not spill any steel. The Russian's eyes were covered with some kind of brace which caused him to continuously cry tears and drove him nearly mad with agony.

In the rafters scampered bizarre bald headed women wearing big black goggles. They watched the group with hungry curiosity and fingered the hundreds of knives which each one of them wore on their bodies instead of clothes. Every now and then, one of them would catch and eat one of the bats hanging from the rafters, except these bats had human faces.

Sears then spotted their destination. Raised above the industrial chaos was an office with a quite ordinary looking wooden door. It looked just like a foreman's office on the factory floor.

The keen vampire vision of Seras picked out the lettering on the frosted window in the door. It read, "_Alucard: Sacred Ancestor. Please knock before entering._"

As she was led up the stairs to Alucard's office, she spotted an Egyptian man covered in tattoos and very little else. The man was babbling to himself in a foreign language and cradling a machine gun. Suddenly, the man stopped his insane rambling and looked up and Seras.

The Egyptian's look of pure madness made Seras stumble on the steps.

As Radu knocked on the door, she heard the psychotic Egyptian speak. "His name is legion, for we are many!" The man then began to cackle loudly and disassemble his gun.

Rudely, Seras was shoved into Alucard's office. That was when she first met the Vampire King.

* * *

Thanks to all who read and reviewed :D I suggest you check out the story _Pretty Things_ because it is very good; an intense read that pulls no punches. And I'd like to thank Sweettwilightvamps for giving me the insiration and permission to write this fic.

And since finals are now over I'd like to wish all happy holidays and merry christmas for those who believe in it. Stay healthy ;)

Ta

Master of the Boot


	2. The Sacred Ancestor

All the Pretty Things: Strangled at Birth

Summary: Seras is made into a vampire by the master Santino. Unfortunately for her, she is made into the secretary of the King of Vampires; a bloody beast of a man who's as sadistic as he is hideous. Join her as she strugles to emerge with her sanity intact. AU of the story _Lovely Creatures_ by SweetTwilightvamps.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing or any other trademarked characters. This is a non-profit endeavour

_Sophia, Bulgaria_

Seras eyes were blinded by the white light in the room. The room had two sources of illumination; an old incandescent light bulb in the ceiling and from a galaxy of television screens that totally took up the back wall.

The video monitors showed a variety of scenes. There was footage of the various university buildings, scenes of assorted parts of the city. Violence was a running theme.

One monitor showed two male students raping a female student in the dormitory. Another depicted a scene in a hospital type setting where a man in a mental patient's uniform took a ball peen hammer and smashed open another patient's head; splattering the walls with blood. On a third monitor at the top right corner, a horde of half vampire half zombie creatures ran while wearing business suits and surgical masks. Their prey wasn't seen but the half zombies were armed with automatic weapons and razor blades.

As her eyes adjusted, she saw the office. It was a large and spacious place like that of a Victorian era captain of industry.

Then she saw the man who was the Sacred Ancestor.

If Seras had any expectations, it was that the king of vampires would wear black. He did not wear black; red seemed to be Alucard's colour of choice. A huge red duster matched the colour of his eyes and ran down his body like blood.

Alucard was filling out documents; his pen scratched across the paper so hard that it seemed like the paper had done him wrong.

Seras couldn't help but be transfixed by Alucard. He bore a resemblance physically to Radu but the differences were far greater.

Radu had the power of glamour. With his good looks he could make women weak at the knees and convince men to blow their brains out. Alucard wasn't the type of vampire that went in for seduction. He was a student and a master of the school of violence. All of life's problems could be solved by breaking necks and slicing throats and thus far Alucard had never had the same problem twice.

Even sitting at the desk with a pair of reading glasses on, Alucard radiated violence of the most brutal sort. His movements were sharp and somewhat jerky; as if he could barely restrain himself from killing everyone and everything around him.

Huge rings of silver decorated his white gloved hands; Alucard did not feel fear, not even of silver or sunlight.

Worse yet, the gang of vampires escorting Seras seemed afraid. Even the little vampire boy looked humbled before Alucard; and he looked like the type who normally struck fear in others.

To the side was Alucard's fearsome bodyguard, Canker Canison; the psychotic werewolf. The werewolf snipers on the roof were Canker's boys and he picked his pack with the highest standards in mind. Even in his human form, Canker seemed to be more beast than man.

Canker seemed suited to being Alucard's bodyguard for he was every bit as a sideshow freak as his master was.

The werewolf sported a massive upper body with bulging muscles and wrists as thick as Seras waist. By contrast, Canker had a narrow waist and hairless legs which were built like the hind legs of a dog.

Canison eyed Seras with raw, beast lust; his gaze unashamedly lay on her ponderous breasts. Seras was worried that he was going to rape her right on the spot.

The werewolf spoke with a menacing but unidentifiable Slavic accent. "I smell cunt," he broke into a malicious dog grin and ran a bloated tongue over his lips. Seras realized that she would never like men again because of him.

Canker then ran a paw like hand through his Fox-red hair. "No wait, it's only Radu." With that, the inbred werewolf began a huge, deep barking laugh which shook the walls and rattled the windows.

The resident vampires rolled their eyes at Canker's vulgar manners while Radu just glowered. In his chair, Alucard let out a mirthless chuckle at the joke at his brother's expense.

Radu addressed his brother. "Brother, we've brought you something."

Immediately, Alucard stopped chuckling. Picking up on his master's mood, Canker took a step back and got ready to enjoy the show. If he was lucky, Alucard would let him rape Radu again.

Slowly, Alucard took off the clear, round glasses that he wore when signing papers and documents. Breathing heavily, Alucard looked up at the group of vampires as if noticing them for the first time.

Seras wasn't as afraid of Alucard as much as she should have been, but she'd never seen what he was capable of.

Alucard's entire body was charged with fury; an ocean of adrenaline and bitterness flowed in his blood. He tolerated no bullshit from his subordinates. No matter how powerful they were or how prestigious their bloodlines were, he was as good as God to them.

With a snake's glare, he surveyed Seras Victoria, former police woman. "Who is this?" He had the same musical voice as Radu, but whereas Radu's voice calmed people down and assuaged their fears, Alucard had the effect of urging people to commit suicide to escape the upcoming pain. It was the voice of a very, very pissed off devil.

Acting as spokesperson for the group, he showed off Seras like a sweet prize. He was aware that his brother loved to victimize women but was counting on his tendency to let the sexy ones live. "When Santino died, he made this woman his fledgling. We've checked her over and we think she may have what it takes to be your new secretary since your old one died."

Seras struggled to keep the look of "_What the fuck?"_ off her face. She never bought that the secretary of the Vampire King retired but now it was her who was taking the job where the last applicant was likely fucking murdered.

Alucard continued to glower at Seras. "I don't know you," he said. Each word he spoke carried a weight of accusation and hatred behind it. Where did his seemingly endless hatred come from? Seras just didn't have the answer.

Radu began to explain the nature of her turning. "She was a police girl when her home town was overwhelmed by ghouls. She stood and fought even when all was lost and the vampire behind it had her in his claws."

"That was when Santino saved me," Seras butted in; something she immediately regretted. The moment that Alucard's eyes settled on her, she immediately began wishing for a quick death.

Alucard narrowed his eyes at Seras. "I think you may be the dumbest bitch I have ever had the displeasure to meet."

At that moment, Seras was hoping that he'd just pull out a really big gun and shoot her; she could already see Canker Canison itching to pounce and devour her. He'd devoured thousands of vampire hearts in his time and with luck he'd eat many more.

"You've got the job, police girl." Alucard said.

This shocked Seras but also provided a great deal of relief. She wasn't going to die just yet. The vampires in the room also breathed in a sigh of relief. Alucard had been abusing them more and more every day, the secretary's purpose was as much to deflect that abuse as to file Alucard's papers. In a sense, Seras was the group's sacrificial lamb meant to appease their angry, jealous god.

Alucard spun around in his leather swivel chair. "CAMILA!" he roared. The effect was instant; into the room waltzed the sluttiest vampire that ever walked the face of the earth.

Elizabeth Bathory, otherwise known as Camilla the Bloody, was the most beautiful vampire who ever lived. All who saw her face instantly fell in love with her and those who didn't weren't capable of love. Except very few saw her beauty because she wore makeup thicker than the armour plating on the side of most tanks.

Adding to her visage of a horrible slut was the dress she wore; both the straps were off the sheer blue fabric hung down far lower on her chest than was tasteful. To seal the deal she'd never even heard of underwear nor would she want to wear it.

Unlike everyone else, she was rather flippant towards Alucard and only barely pretended to respect him. "Yeeeesss?" came her drawling response.

"Camilla," Alucard snarled, "we have a new bitch in the house; break her in before sunrise."

"What!" shouted Seras? Getting raped by psycho lesbians wasn't in the job description Radu had given her. The blond, chesty vampire was rapidly realizing that her stunning good looks were a curse rather than a blessing in these parts.

Bathory licked her bright bubblegum pink lips and pulled out a lipstick tube from her purse. "Oh goody," she purred. Popping open the lipstick tube, a tiny silver blade came out instead of lipstick. Like Alucard, Camilla the Bloody Countess enjoyed pain

Before Camilla could get started on Seras on Alucard's desk and before Canker could protest, a beeping noise was heard.

In sharp relief to his expensive rings, Alucard had a cheap digital watch on his wrist. He was looking at the beeping electronic device as if he'd never seen it before. A look of fear passed over the faces of all the room's occupants, even Canker and Camilla; and Seras knew in her heart that she too should be afraid.

Slowly and deliberately, Alucard hit a button that stopped the beeping on his watch's alarm.

Almost instantly, a change took over his entire being. The scowl he wore vanished with startling quickness. A great, goofy grin split his face in half. In a second, all the hate he wore so plainly was replaced by a kind of giddy joy.

Frozen with fear, Seras was forced forwards when the Bartolome gave her a big shove on the ass. Under any other circumstances, Seras would have slapped the little shit silly for touching her there.

Alucard leaned over his desk until Seras could smell the breath spray he'd taken earlier; it smelled of mint. "My pretty police girl," his voice oozed sweetness. He'd even gone an accent change; his Romanian accent had turned into a Bulgarian accent.

Having been trained to deal with criminals, Seras tried to assert herself. "It's Seras Victoria, actually."

Apparently, this friendly and joyful Alucard wasn't any less cruel and mean than serious Alucard. "How about I keep calling you 'Police girl", he jabbed a finger at her sharply. "And if you don't like that moniker, I'll fuck you in the ass with razor wire wrapped around my cock; got it!" His face was a hideous spoof of humanity; he had dozens of sharp shark like teeth, his red eyes bulged out of their sockets and his hands dug claw marks in the wood of the desk. He resembled a fanatical football fan on crystal meth.

Seras wasn't looking forward to having razor wire delivered up her ass so she acquiesced the madman's desires. "You can call me whatever you want." The busty former cop was wishing that she'd wake up from the nightmare now.

Alucard scanned the room as if seeing it for the first time. "Yes, it's a bad area around here; a bad country. There's a lot of bad people, lots of mean types," he gave Seras an exaggerated wink and smirk. "A lot of psychos."

The daughter of Frederick Victoria had no idea how to reply but Alucard saved her the trouble. He reached into his desk and pulled out a clear squirt bottle full of yellow liquid.

Before Seras could react, she was getting a thick stream of cold, smelly yellow fluid hitting her in the face. The liquid stung her eyes and her nose and in her mouth it burned like acid.

Just as quickly as he'd sprayed her, Alucard stopped. Seras sputtered and spat out the liquid.

"Did you enjoy that, Police girl?" Alucard sang, "Cold bottled urine all over your face. This is a bad time for you, isn't it, girl?"

Seras was horrified. "You keep urine in your desk? I've got piss on me!"

Adjusting his gloves, Alucard explained himself. "I like to get urine. I can't get it from vampires and I won't get it from dogs because dogs don't pay me anything to collect and drink urine."

Acting on pure impulse, Alucard reached forward and grabbed Seras huge melons in a grip of steel. Ignoring the girl's loud shriek, Alucard pulled down her shirt to expose thousands of square miles of cleavage. And like it was the most natural thing in the world, he bent down and blew his nose in between her boobs.

Seras screamed louder and fell to the floor, desperately trying to wipe off the thick layer of snot and spit.

Alucard meanwhile was wafting air towards his nose. "Ah, my sense of smell returns." Casually he remarked to Seras, "Your boobs smell like a puppy."

He turned and yelled at his minions. "Get the hell out of here before I punish you all!"

As Seras saw the vampires and one werewolf leave, she begged of them. "Wait; don't leave me with this crazy fuck!" But Radu had already slammed the door shut and locked it with the key Alucard gave him. She was now trapped with the Sacred Ancestor who was at present going dinosaur shit crazy.

Alucard had gotten a remote control from some hidden spot or pocket and now the galaxy of TV monitors was now full of cartoons and Hannah Montana music videos. Abruptly, he spun around and faced Seras, causing her to cower in fear; for he was truly unpredictable.

Still in that joyful voice he said. "This is what I look like when I'm having my free time. No more demands of the vampire court. No more hordes of idiots wanting to get stuff from me."

His hands rose high and he started mocking his subjects. "Out there it's all me, me, me, _mine, mine, mine_, cry, complain whine."

He jumped up on his desk and kicked aside the papers. The photocopy division would replace those soon enough. "Now though," he sang, "I only have to worry about myself. And you will be my little toy and if you weren't a blonde I'd be raping you right now on my desk." The grin on his face was now as wide as his cruel streak was long.

"T-th-thanks," Seras stuttered; cowering in mortal terror. Thus began her employment under the Vampire King

* * *

Thanks for showing up, I love you all ;) This chapter was fun to write, as always. I'd like to wish everyone a merry Christmas and I'd like to say that I hope everybody stays safe. This will be a short story but it'll be very fun. Check out m profile and give me a message if you so wish. I'm a very sociable person to requests and other things.

And the werewolf Canker Canison comes from the series _Necroscope_, my most favorite vampire series by Brian Lumley. If you like Lovecraft then you'll love that stuff.

Ta

Master of the Boot


	3. Crazy Scotsman

All the Pretty Things: Strangled at Birth

Chapter 3: Crazy Scotsman

Summary: Seras is made into a vampire by the master Santino. Unfortunately for her, she is made into the secretary of the King of Vampires; a bloody beast of a man who's as sadistic as he is hideous. Join her as she strugles to emerge with her sanity intact. AU of the story _Lovely Creatures_ by SweetTwilightvamps.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing or any other trademarked characters. This is a non-profit endeavour

_Sophia, Bulgaria_

Life went on in Alucard's personal underground hell. Seras eventually learned to be a dutiful secretary. If she did her job well she was rewarded and Alucard would only occasionally do something bad to her like stab out one of her eyes for expressing regret for her lost humanity.

As far as political leaders went, Alucard was mad, bad and dangerous to know. Surrounded by armies of freaks and lunatics, he was still utterly alone. There was nobody that Alucard really liked, had ever confided in, called friend or lover and he never, ever played favourites. It was Alucard's policy to abuse everyone equally.

He was not a Winston Churchill or a Richard the Lionheart. Alucard was of the same stripe as Hitler, Stalin and Pol Pot.

Even Canker Canison, the faithful hound of Alucard got beaten like a dog whenever the mood took his master. Luckily for Darla, Drusilla, Lestat and the other high ranking vampires, Seras acted as a punching bag for the lord so that he wouldn't get the urge to beat them. Although he still did inflict acts of wanton cruelty on them, albeit less frequently; he set fire to Darla's hair, vandalized Drusilla's dolls and beat the bejesus out of Bartolome because he insisted that it made him so horny.

In either case, Seras bore the brunt of Alucard's punishments. Only Radu was abused worse than her, which in a very bad way served to pick Seras spirits up.

Since there was no other choice, Seras served her mercurial and sadistic master with diligence and politeness. She never called him anything except for "Master" or "Sacred Ancestor" and it seemed to make him very glad.

But one thing that took some time for Seras to learn was that Alucard was never happy. He got giddy or frenzied but never happy. He was a man condemned to never experience any joy, just the cheap thrills he got from wanton murder and mayhem. Alucard was incapable of contentness; he always wanted more drugs, sex, violence, power, knowledge and everything he could get.

He was pitiful, but by no means harmless. Alucard had to be both extremely powerful and extremely cunning to control the menagerie of oddities, mistakes of life and parasites who he called his army.

Alucard was the Vampire King but he ruled over so much more. Among his troops and servants there were vampires, werewolves, demons and humans of the most nihilistic and godless nature. He kept the loyalty of these freaks despite their own unreliability and his own uncontrollable sadism by never keeping any loot for himself. All of his money and treasure accumulated in various criminal enterprises, Alucard gave all away to his servants. All he truly desired to was to nail chunks of flesh to the walls of his bedroom and watch the funniest TV programs all day

Quite a few of those henchmen under his control were violent thugs barely more sane than Alucard was. Among their number there were psychics, magicians, wizards, monsters and even a few holy men.

One such holy man, who was anything but, that served under Alucard was a Scotsman named Alexander Anderson. He was one of the deadliest vampire hunters in the world and the trump card of the Vatican. Little did the Pope or Enrico Maxwell realize, but Anderson was actually a double agent who worked for the Sacred Ancestor.

Now, Anderson was hardly as crazy or as disgusting as Alucard; but just the same, the guy wasn't all there. He was a few clowns short of a circus. He lost his mind somewhere and he still hadn't found it.

Seras first encountered Anderson when she was alerted by the sound of his footsteps. She'd been in the Vampire King's armoury taking inventory of all the deadly weapons that they'd built, scavenged, stolen or bought when she heard the whole place shake.

Huge rhythmatic thuds were sounding through the whole building. Seras panicked and thought that she was in the middle of an earthquake. Her first instinct was to get out of here and pretty much leave everyone else to die; they'd never been very kind to her.

It was then that around the corner came the bloody biggest Scotsman that she'd ever seen. The guy was simply massive. Tall as Alucard and muscular like a mastodon, the brute must have weighed at least five hundred pounds.

Seras could only watch the man with horrified fascination. Aside from his thick build, the Scotsman was rather well proportioned. His face was weathered and his chin wide, with a pointed nose to act as a counterbalance. The man's shiny white teeth stood out like ivory bricks and his hands were enormous beyond the norm.

Having grown up all her life with stereotypes of violent Scotsmen, Seras was naturally afraid of the priest. She knew that he was a regenerator, but she'd never been told that he'd be so massive.

Alexander Anderson stopped, his final footfalls causing some dust and dirt to fall from the crude stone ceiling. In the light, his glare off his glasses made his eyes look like sinister white orbs of pure malice. Raising one mighty giant sized fist, Anderson focused his glare as Seras and bellowed like an angry bull. He had something profound to say.

"Firs' thing's firs'," Anderson roared, "where's yer shitter! Ah've gotta squeeze out a jobbie!"

Seras couldn't believe what the man had said. From what she'd heard, he was supposed to be some kind of badass assassin who could move like a fucking ninja. Instead he was this foul mouthed freak who stomped in like an elephant. Evidently there had to be a reason Alucard counted him as an ally.

Still, Seras couldn't believe what the Vatican assassin just said. "Er, pardon me?"

If Anderson got the hint that Seras was trying to get him to rephrase his request in a nice polite way, he didn't act like it. Most likely he missed the clue entirely. Instead he shook his mighty fist and continued to make gastrological demands.

"Fucking show meh yer shitter or I fucking kill sombodeh!" the massive priest shook his fist to establish his point. Then he put his hand to his stomach and groaned. "Oh, Christ, mah Imodium hasn't kicked in yet. Ah'm gonna haff ta salsa dance ta the bathroom."

Having come to the conclusion that Anderson was a gigantic asshole, Seras decided that it was better just to tell the loon where the men's room was and be done with it. Anderson duly blessed Seras and celebrated his newfound bowel release by talking loud enough that Seras could hear him.

Seras cringed as she heard Anderson say, "Ah, tha's good chilleh," referring to the twenty five bowls of chilli that he'd had for lunch.

Anderson concluded his business as Alucard's spy in the Vatican and left. As punishment for keeping Alucard waiting, Seras was forced to personally clean the bathroom where Anderson had done his business in. Entering that one bathroom with a mop and bucket, Seras took one good look at the place and nearly fainted. Inside it looked like somebody had exploded a pressure cooker of half digested chilli all over the place. That was not the first time that Seras contemplated suicide, nor was it the last.

* * *

Months passed and Seras's spirit was slowly but surely eroding under Alucard's relentless tyranny. Despite the lavish rewards, the man's unbelievable brutality was nearly too much for Seras to handle. There wasn't a moment that went by where he didn't spank, pinch, slap, beat or stab her for some offense or other. And he always found offenses; like an offensive religious cleric or an abusive husband, Alucard could spot a transgression and punish it at the speed of light.

On Christmas day, Seras didn't even know it was the Yuletide season. She spent all of her time underground and there was nothing to tell time by except the schedules and timetables that she had to organize for Alucard.

She'd been filing papers and upgrading the software on Alucard's computer when the great Sacred Ancestor himself came in with a pretty wrapped box. Alucard smiled contentedly and insisted that he had a gift for Seras. While outwardly happy, inside Seras was petrified; she thought that his Christmas gift might be a bomb designed to cripple but not kill her or something equally nasty.

Alucard had been insistent but not pushy. He'd also undergone another accent change, he sounded Baltic now instead of his default Romanian accent. Seras was beginning to strongly suspect that he suffered from dissociative personality disorder. In his warm, friendly Baltic voice Alucard had finally encouraged Seras to open her Christmas gift.

Inside the box, sitting in a shallow pool of blood was Darla's severed head. Seras froze like a scared rabbit as she looked at the head inside the box; bewitched so that Seras wouldn't smell the rich, cold blood inside without first opening it.

Alucard chuckled at her reaction. "I knew you'd like it, Police Girl. I just had to kill her, unfortunately. If you're wondering why, I will think of a reason later."

Stunned at the level of the man's depravity, Seras's voice came out as a squeak. "You killed her for nothing?" "_You sick bastard,_" she thought to herself.

Alucard shook his head at the young vampire girl's silly conclusion. "No, not for no reason; I killed her because it was within my authority to do so." His smile was still warm and his voice was even; the picture of any friendly next door neighbour except for the flamboyant clothes. "I've wanted for a long time to kill that whore and I just couldn't help myself." He then tried to assure her, "Do not fear, my lawyer has fabricated a crime which she commited so that I may come out of this with clean hands."

He gave a sweeping gesture towards his office door. "The humans love me for it, as do the werewolves and now the vampire nation is once again reminded that I'm not to be fucked with. Darla was a cunt and nobody liked her; least of all me."

Words could not describe the mortal terror that Seras was feeling. It seemed to her that even though she was an immortal, immortality was however long Alucard decreed it to be. She was undead but at any moment, somebody worse than the grim reaper could rip open her protective coffin and do to her what he'd done to Darla. That Darla was one of the cruellest vampires on earth mattered little, the madman who'd ended her life had left her choking on her own vomit and begging to die; but Darla was never afraid enough to satisfy Alucard's satanic cravings.

Casually, Alucard put a hand on Seras shoulder. He squeezed her just a little too hard to be friendly. Seras looked at his hand as if at any moment it would poison her just by touching. Just having Alucard around seemed to deepen the shadows and make the light seem harsh and unforgiving.

"Seras," he crooned romantically. "Won't you join me in my bedroom?" He wasn't giving her a choice.

In Alucard's magnificent bedroom, he raped Seras and when he was done he told her that she was a crap shag. He warned her that if she performed poorly in the bedroom the second time, he'd kill her.

Then he sent her off to bed.

* * *

About a month after that incident, a more traumatized and broken willed Seras had another encounter with Alexander Anderson.

Unlike last time, Seras was glad to see the bizarre Scotsman. Compared to Alucard, his mental problems and lack of manners were small potatoes; amusing.

Today, Seras had a clipboard in her hand and she was inspecting various members of Alucard's army with Drusilla. Seras was beginning to learn many of the henchmen by their names or nicknames.

Upon seeing Dru, Anderson stood ramrod straight in the same way that a soldier might for a general. Seras began to ask Anderson questions and mark down yes or no on the clipboard. Drusilla on the other hand was being a bit less bureaucratic and a little more friggin nuts about it.

"The bastard of bastards will experience a fall at the hands of the Brokeback prince while the society of the twisted cross makes their move against the daughter of Abe Hell."

Anderson smiled widely and pretended that he knew what the fuck she was saying. The giant regenerator clicked his heels and snapped a salute to Drusilla. "Yes sir!"

Drusilla went on while Seras watched. Drusilla was the perfect person to take her mind off the way Alucard treated her; it was comforting in a wrong way how Drusilla tortured people nearly as badly as Alucard tormented her. Though given the choice between the two of them, Seras would throw herself at Dru rather than go back to Alucard.

"The jam jar and the speedy blonde will attack Wendy and the lost boys but they will prevail and the climax will take place on the giant balloon of death."

Anderson just smiled and nodded and gave another salute. "Yes sir!"

And to Seras great and everlasting shock, Drusilla grabbed Anderson by the ball sack and squeezed. The killing judge's eyes bulged and he groaned; utterly at the mercy of the diminutive vampire.

Drusilla shouted at Anderson. "And stop staring at my fucking cleavage!" She let go of the prone giant and breezed off with Seras in tow.

Anderson grumbled and started to curse at Dru. "Crazy lady, tellin' me whit ta do."

Seras listened to his griping like a fascinating train wreck.

"Oh, ah'm a pervert, she says. Well listen up lassie! Ah ete a baby!"

That Anderson ate a baby was no surprise to Seras. Some of these days she felt so miserable that she herself felt like eating a baby.

But honestly, she hoped that small squirming object she ate while high on garlic fumes was only a chicken. But why were there no feathers? Maybe she washed them off before the stupor wore off.

* * *

Thanks for showing up, I love you all ;) This is turning out to be pretty dark isn't it? Well, I'm not one of those guys who supports AlucardxSeras pairings. This story is dedicated to Sweettwilightvamps13 who is such an awsome writer. I highly suggest you check out her stories. They're very good :)

Oh, and squeezing a jobbie is Scottish slang for taking a crap. Just so you know.

Ta

Master of the Boot


	4. ProstiDude

All the Pretty Things: Strangled at Birth

Chapter 4: Prosti-Dude

Summary: Seras is made into a vampire by the master Santino. Unfortunately for her, she is made into the secretary of the King of Vampires; a bloody beast of a man who's as sadistic as he is hideous. Join her as she strugles to emerge with her sanity intact. AU of the story _Lovely Creatures_ by SweetTwilightvamps.

Warning: This chapter contains hot sex between a man and woman. If you do not like that, please turn around and leave me in peace. If you do like it, then enjoy ;)

Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing or any other trademarked characters. This is a non-profit endeavour

_Sophia, Bulgaria_

More months passed and Seras learned what Alucard was capable of. A phrase by Lestat caught her attention during his time of well-paid torture. "If you live forever, you'll go trough rapid periods of loving kindness and unforgivable cruelty. You'll go insane. Then you'll be sane. Eventually you'll be lost."

However Seras had long realized by now that Alucard was quite a bit different from the other vampires. With him there were only acts of unspeakable cruelty and acts of utter cold bloodedness. When he lavished Seras or his minions with materiel goods and money, it wasn't kindness that motivated the gestures; it was business transaction. How much could he get from someone while giving as little as possible?

Alucard was a man utterly without empathy. One many levels he was unable to understand that those he trampled on in his quest for gratification were in fact living, thinking people.

He'd brought many changes to the vampire nation, some of them rather horrid. Because of his fundamentally anti-social nature, Alucard had resorted to genocide against a long list of dissenters and those that Alucard found undesirable.

Like the Holocaust, the Holomodor or the campaigns of germ warfare against American Indians; Alucard's futile war was not motivated by rational factors. In his search for greater and greater power, Alucard had alienated many vampires and caused the first ever Vampire Civil War.

During business hours, Alucard was ruthless and goal oriented; sharply contrasting with his nihilistic madness during free time.

Yes, Seras knew Alucard and what he was capable of and it was slowly corroding her spirit and tempting her to be just as bad as him.

However even in the pit of darkest despair and greatest madness, Seras found out that good does still indeed exist and it is quite sexy.

* * *

Seras walked down the spiralling stairs at full speed. Due to her vampire nature, she could run this fast without spilling a drop of the warm, sudsy water that she carried with her in a large tin pale.

Today she was required to take a break from her duties as Alucard's secretary and serve with the Bloody Countess for a while. Seras was willing to bet any sum of money that Camilla was pulling strings just so that she could fuck Seras.

The mere thought of what Camilla was capable of made Seras shudder. Most of the women she slept with were often found the day after curled up in the corner of the room begging for their mommy. The Countess's reputation as a slag was totally deserved as she was the only person other than Alucard that could surpass Canker Canison for sexual stamina.

Seras wanted to stop dressing sexy in order to discourage Camilla and Canker from raping her but Alucard insisted that she only wear sexy miniskirts and pseudo military outfits that were a size too tight for her breasts. It was unlikely in any event that dressing unattractively would stop those two sexual deviants; not after Seras had seen a horny Canison making love to a doorknob.

After crossing many hundreds of crudely cut stairs, Seras finally arrived at Alucard's stables. This was where Alucard kept his supply of prostitutes which he used as a reward for his loyal henchmen. Many dozens of human and vampire whores lolled around in various states of undress. Each one had the look of a veteran whore who knows that at any moment a high paying client could turn violent.

It was not however the prostitutes that Seras was ordered to head to but the prosti-dudes; Alucard's squadron of man whores, trained to pleasure all who their lord commanded to.

Alucard was violently homophobic without rational excuse. He was above human morality but remained mired by human prejudice. He still carried his human attitude that those who seek consensual sex with the same sex ought to be put down like sick animals. It was rather hypocritical but Alucard was never much for morality.

Indeed, Seras eyes widened as she gazed upon a veritable banquet of various studley dudes who were more chiselled than the statue of David. Tall men, short men but all sexy men were everywhere; either idle and waiting for work or behind closed doors and pleasuring various members of Alucard's female followers into screaming oblivion.

The air was thick with perfume and Seras could already feel herself begin to relax despite her now habitual state of paranoia. In a way, she was pleased that only women could use the prosti-dudes; Alucard's gay hating ways were starting to rub off on her and she had begun to view gays as competitors rather than fellow citizens.

Luckily for Seras, Camilla wasn't here right now; she'd had the wisdom to stall when gathering the soapy, hot water and sponge.

Instead of Camilla, it was Camilla's protégé and keeper of the man whores, Tedora the Underage. Tedora was a vampire turned by Camilla some two hundred years ago; a native of Bulgaria.

True to her name, Tedora was physically fourteen years old and lacked Alucard's ability to change his outward age. She deeply resented being turned at fourteen, partly because she was changed when she was young and her sexuality was not fully realized. For two hundred years she'd grown to hate Camilla more and more because she understood that in their purely physical relationship she was the submissive and she hated it.

In order to compensate for her underage appearance, Tedora dressed up like a much older woman but not very well. Her dark blonde hair was done up in a bun like someone's idea of a sexually alluring librarian. Her sharp green eyes hid behind a pair of black frame glasses which she'd adopted after playing the game _Bayonetta_.

Looking at Tedora, Seras was suddenly feeling very good about what she was wearing. Tedora was dressed in a beautiful dress that looked at least four sizes too big and elegant silk gloves which were so big that they barely stayed on. She looked like an underage girl playing dress up with her overweight mother's best evening wear.

Tedora looked down her nose at the rookie vampire. Something about Seras just rubbed Tedora the wrong way. "So you're the new girl from England?" she queried in her native Bulgarian.

Seras looked shocked and replied in rather rough but understandable Bulgarian. "New? I've been here for two years."

"Oh yeah," said Tedora, "Well I've been around for two hundred years, sister. So don't you give me any sass or I'll slap the shit out of you." It pretty tame compared to the threats that Alucard levied against her but Seras had no desire to be slapped.

Staring down at the bucket, Seras had to ask something. "What do you need this for?"

Tedora wasn't normally given to explaining herself to inferiors but since it was Seras she decided to make an exception. "I need this to wash Alucard's prized prosti-dude, the Captain," she huffed.

Seras blinked. "The Captain? What is he, a sailor?"

In response, Tedora smacked Seras right across the face. Only two years of learning what her place was prevented Seras from striking back and beating Tedora over the head with that bucket.

"Don't insult the Captain," Tedora hissed. "He's too much man for a stupid bitch like you to handle!" The second in command of the prosti-dudes changed her language to a melodic English lit.

Seras however wasn't prepared to take this abuse. "I don't need this shit," she blurted, reverting back into English. Stiffly, she held out the bucket so that Tedora could wash her oh so precious captain. "I hope you get a disease from Camilla."

Tedora's eyes burned like coals. "Don't mention that hag to me. Because of her I will spend the rest of eternity having no boobs." Indeed, Tedora was as flat as a boy. At any rate she was definitely no Seras Victoria.

"Life is full of disappointments," Seras tone was flat and inflectionless. Tedora's problems didn't concern her any more than her problems concerned Tedora.

"That's right!" Tedora shouted, causing some of the prosti-dudes to shift and give her some space. "That stinking whore got me because I was young enough to believe in love. The only reason she won't stop fucking me is because I'm the only one with the balls to tell her how ugly she is." The girl fumed and swayed on her ten inch high heeled stiletto boots. Even for a vampire, these shoes were hard to walk in.

The Underage Vampire kept ranting because she'd kept it in for so long. "She fucks me because she knows if she left I would be happier. She even made Lord Alucard put a spell on me that makes me—

She didn't get to finish her sentence because at that moment, Alucard's spell kicked in. Alucard was a powerful magician, taught by the devil himself at the academy of the Scholomance. Using sex as a bribe, Camilla convinced Alucard to put a spell on Tedora that would cause the girl to have the worst menstrual flows.

Before her very eyes, a heavy, bloody flow started to run down Tedora's legs like Niagara Falls but the wrong color.

Seras gasped at how bad Tedora's period was. She didn't need tampons to stop that flow, she needed cement.

Tedora was so embarrassed. "Oh fuck me," she said. Looking up, she said it in English for Seras. "You fucking stay here; I'll be back before long and do NOT touch the Captain."

The Police Girl barely had time to nod before Tedora was gone like some bizarre Freudian dream symbol.

So Teddy over there needed to wash up a man. Well, Seras could do that. If she was entrusted to washing Alucard's car then there was no reason that she couldn't wash one manwhore. How much trouble could the guy be?

Asking a few of the prosti-dudes, Seras learned which room belonged to the Captain. Evidently, his skills were legendary and women swooned over him. That's not to say that Seras' attention wasn't fetched by the other prosti-dudes. Some of those boys were _ce magnifique_. Every single one was fit to the peak and clean as a whistle.

Seras felt that she was being surrounded by an embarrassment of riches. These guys had dicks of all shapes and sizes and all of the female clients assured her that everybody knew how to use what they had to the maximum potential.

Feeling her mouth go dry and her panties get wet, Seras shook her head and went off to find the legendary Captain.

She did have some reservations as she carried the warm soapy water. The Captain was supposed to be a werewolf. That one word was enough to make her think of the dreaded Canker Canison, whose parents were siblings. If the Captain looked like Canison, then Teddy could have him. Seras wasn't going to go near that kind of stuff.

Eventually, Seras reached the Captain's room, which featured a door far more lavish and big than all the others.

Uncertainty suddenly flooded the Police Girls' mind. What the hell was she doing? What would her father say if he could see her now with a prosti-dude? He'd probably break down and weep like a baby if he could see what was becoming of his beloved daughter; trapped in a land of the mad where the heartless king rules.

Three times, she knocked and waited for some kind of reply. The seconds ticked by and Seras was suddenly aware that the temperature of the water had dropped by one or two degrees. She felt very upset about this for some reason. She would not want the Captain to be uncomfortable as she bathed his nude body.

Seras rubbed her thighs together. If she kept this line of thought then she was going to orgasm prematurely and that would be quite embarrassing.

To her surprise, the door seemed to open by itself; moving slowly and squeaking not one bit on its hinges.

Inside the tastefully decorated room done in warm subdued hues was the largest man that Seras had ever seen. Seras Jaw dropped to the floor as she saw the Captain in all his glory, wearing only a hat and a long olive military style coat.

She felt like she was going to sprain her neck at she looked at the eight foot tall werewolf. He was even bigger than Alexander Anderson but his pale skin was far more beautiful than Anderson. The Captain's skin looked as smooth as silk while still looking as strong as a bull elephant.

His jacket was unbuttoned and thus Sears could clearly see the most fabulous pair of marvellously sculpted pectoral muscles and abs so chiselled that they could be used as a washboard. Only the sash tied around his waist kept her from seeing his manhood.

Seras felt her body ache with need. The smell of her arousal was noticeable even for weak human noses. She just had to have this man. Even if he only had a four inch dick the rest of him was too mouth-watering just to pass up.

Mouth cry and breathing coming in heavier even though she didn't need the oxygen, Seras held out the bucket of warm water and hoped that she'd get a chance to bathe him. In a slightly unsteady voice, she said to the Captain. "I'm told you need a bath."

The Captain gazed at Seras with an intensity that was more than human. It reminded Seras of when she was a little girl and a massive dog had simply looked at her; just looked without making a sound. The Captain's eyes had that kind of depth and intelligence to them as that great dog all those years ago.

He was utterly unlike Canker Canison, whose watery eyes seemed perpetually clouded by lust and rabid hunger. The Captain was perfectly human looking; better than human, in fact. A mere shift of his posture showed a flex in the massive cables of his muscles better than any body builder.

Seras hand trembled as she held the bucket. Inside her blouse her nipples stood up and her thin shirt and bra did little to conceal it. The lips of her womb were becoming inflamed and sensitive. Simultaneously she wished that he might notice and not notice her desire.

Striding forward from where he stood like a silent sentinel, the Captain reached out deliberately and took the bucket from Seras and gently laid it down on the floor where nobody could trip on it.

The Captain took Seras small hands in his own gigantic one. Seras felt a thrill of passion run through her. The man might be a mute but he seemed to understand what she wanted. And more than she'd ever been of her big boobs, Seras had always been proud of her dainty hands. Guys loved little hands on a woman.

Gently, the Captain set Seras down on the big comfy bed. As he did so, Seras caught just a flash of man parts. It was only the briefest glimpse but it was driving Seras crazier with lust than she already had been.

Licking her lips, it seemed a monumental effort to get the words out. Talking wasn't what she really wanted to do right now. "So, do I have to pay you or how does this work?" The words were forced and her anxiousness was visible.

Casually, almost, Seras put a hand in her lap to try and smooth out her miniskirt. This effort only caused a tingle across her labia and a shudder in her body. More than anything, she wanted that big handsome brute of a man to just do _something_ to her. His silence and burning stare was really making her want it all the more.

Still wordless and handsome face focused only on her and nothing else, the Captain sat down next to Seras. Seras had to restrain herself from bouncing up and down with excitement. She could feel his weight as the mattress took his weight.

Inconspicuously as she could, Seras tried to crane her view to get a look at what was between the captain's thighs. She instantly froze when she felt the captain's hand on her lower back.

The touch of the man was titillating but oddly soothing. Shutting her eyes, she allowed herself to enjoy the sensation of the Captain's hand just above the swell of her backside.

Before she knew it, she was laying on her front; enjoying the Captain's skilled hands on her back and using her large breasts as pillows to support her face.

The Captain was the best kind of man; the kind that knew when to shut up. He'd never tell her to be quiet during the football game or tell her to make her a sandwich. He would only do what she asked him to and do it to the best of his manly abilities. Because a man should only open his mouth when saying "I love you" or using his tongue.

As the Captain massaged her, his hands went lower and lower until he was working the tight globes of her ass, barely hidden by a miniskirt and a pair of white panties. Seras shuddered with desire.

Moving slowly, Seras brought up her hands and started to unbutton her blouse as best as she could without moving around from her current position.

A change in the winds indicated to Seras that the Captain had lifted up her skirt and was currently tugging on her panties as if to ask whether he should take them off.

Grinning, Seras took the initiative. Rolling over, she spread her legs wide and gingerly began to brush her fingers over his soaking wet snatch. Her two breasts were spilling out now and half of one erect nipple was now plainly visible to the Captain; whose expression was still stoic but his eyes clearly widened. The wolf man liked what he saw.

Remembering a trick she saw in a men's magazine once, Seras pulled out her large exposed breast and brought the dark nipple to her mouth, licking the tip of it so that the Captain could be driven crazy. For a minute she could have sworn she saw his smirk a bit.

Voice heavy with need, Seras spoke to the Captain. "Take off your coat. I'll bankrupt myself to pay for you."

The big military coat fell to the ground and Seras gasped. The Captain's mast was up and it was a big one. A huge specimen just shy of twelve inches long and plenty of girth to it. It was a perfectly formed, veiny specimen that pulsed before the eyes of the horny vampire woman.

Completing the ensemble was an equally impressive set of testicles the size of small oranges. His crotch area was fairly smooth but Seras could just barely make out a fine crop of blonde hair from his belly button and down; put there to guide women to the treasure.

The purple, shiny head of the Captain's hefty cock held Seras rapt like a snake charmer. Yep, his snake was charming her plenty.

Abandoning all attempts at seduction, Seras jumped forward with hardly a concern that her breasts were now fully exposed and free from both shirt and bra. She only wanted that—big—thick—juicy—WANG!

Seras now lay on the captain's lap; the cock was given a marvellous backdrop by the Captain's perfectly muscular and sculpted stomach. The girl laughed maniacally as she felt the large glans with her small fingers. Freed from the fear of pregnancy and venereal disease, her lust could now go uninhibited.

The Police Girl was totally enraptured by the Captain's body with his dick as the focal point. It was a clear cut case of eyes bigger than vagina. There was no way that Seras could take that big monster; her ass and pussy were too tight and her gag reflex was too strong for oral. None the less, the girl wanted the Captain, every piece of him. She knew what she wanted.

In her own mind, she'd start on his handsome pecker and then she'd have to give attention to his gigantic, rock hard pectoral muscles and then his tiny, cute pink nipples. Sears started drooling just thinking about the Captain's chest; she wanted to suck those nipples of his and kiss him and love him and just breathe in that musky, manly smell all day.

The smell was so good; like the world's greatest body spray.

Presently, both of Seras Giant knockers were free and they were lying on the Captain's lap, wrapping around his huge cock. Even Seras big fun bags looked small compared to that totem pole of pleasure.

Smiling, Seras pulled the head closer and she was just about to start sucking it when all of the sudden—

"CAPTAIN!" screamed Tedora the Underage.

Seras cursed in her mind. That cunt had ordered her to stay away from Captain and she'd disobeyed. Punishment was sure to follow. Seras cursed the cunt with all her heart.

Tedora ran with remarkable speed on the smooth wooden floor of the prosti-dude den. She'd fixed her menstrual flow and even left a bit of revenge for Camilla in the form of emptying all her bottles of lube and filling them with holy water. Once upon a time when Tedora had been naïve and sexually frustrated, she believed that she loved the Bloody Countess and accepted immortality. Now there was nobody that she hated more.

Barging into the Captain's room without knocking, Tedora looked through her black box framed glasses. There was nobody here; just the captain dressed in his hat and coat along with his ginormous schlong. There was the smell of horny woman here but Tedora spent so much time around that smell that she didn't even notice it anymore.

Seeing that the Captain was yet unwashed and the water in the bucket was still pretty warm. Grinning widely, Tedora grabbed the bucket and sponged and put a hand on the Captain's arm. "Come, my pet," she said, "we're going to my room." Despite Camilla's best efforts, Tedora was not a lesbian; only men could give her pleasure. She only slept with chicks for the money and then left em.

Captain left to be washed and more by Tedora and for several minutes nothing happened. Then quite unexpectedly the nightstand opened up and Seras rolled out, groaning not with lust but with pain.

In order to protect Seras from Tedora's punishment, The Captain jammed Seras into the drawer on the nightstand; folding her up like a pretzel in ways that would kill a human.

Now Seras was sexually frustrated, her boobs were exposed and she was mad as hell at that man stealing bitch.

But Seras was smart and as she cooled down and went back to work (she's take a prosti-dude on the weekend) she began to formulate a plan to stretch out her love hole enough that she could handle the Captain's thickness.

Pleasure would be hers!

* * *

A quick show of hands, who thinks the Captain is the manliest man of all the men out there? If I were a girl, I'd probably drool all over him. This was my first hetero lemon scene and I hope you enjoyed it. It's been fun to write this. We've got one more chapter coming and then an epilogue and if I get enough reviews you'll all get a bonus chapter. :D

Ta

Master of the Boot


	5. Epilogue

All the Pretty Things: Strangled at Birth

Chapter 5:Epilogue

Summary: Seras is made into a vampire by the master Santino. Unfortunately for her, she is made into the secretary of the King of Vampires; a bloody beast of a man who's as sadistic as he is hideous. Join her as she strugles to emerge with her sanity intact. AU of the story _Lovely Creatures_ by SweetTwilightvamps.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing or any other trademarked characters. This is a non-profit endeavour

_Sophia, Bulgaria_

Seras was getting Alucard his papers ready when her master entered the room. She bowed and greeted him and went on organizing his papers like a good secretary. Alucard could still make her miserable but she no longer wished to kill herself.

At first it was because sex with the Captain was so good; that was why Tedora got so territorial over him. But eventually it became more. She began to communicate with the Captain. Even though he couldn't talk, he understood her and empathized with her. He was her lifeline in a way; a guiding light.

He did care about her, much as he cared for all the women under him. He was like a truly good psychiatrist; he wasn't pretending to care. He gave her more than his body; he had given her hope again.

But it would be misrepresenting to say that working for Alucard was easy. He was still a tyrannical madman with no empathy whatsoever who treated his subjects so badly he created the first war of vampire against vampire in history. Then also the "free time" hours with Alucard were pure hell. He'd once forced her to eat a pile of shit and threatened to kill her if he did not.

As I said. It wasn't easy.

Today, Seras had some news for Alucard, but he had news of his own to tell. Sitting in his chair, Alucard was in a contemplative mood. "Bartolome is dead," he uttered.

This shocked Seras. "Master?" for she knew of nobody that could have the power to slay the cherubic demon boy. Anderson was immune to his power but he'd never dare lay a finger on Bartolome and the lad was far too valuable for Alucard to kill. "Who could kill him?"

Alucard's face twisted into a most unlovely crooked smirk. "The Hellsing Organization."

Seras had been her for two years and change but she'd never heard the name Hellsing except for whispers here and there. Around these parts, they were talked about in the same way that ordinary Americans talked of Al Qaeda; a nebulous enemy that everyone seemed to know very little about and hated a lot.

Alucard was aware that Seras did not know of Hellsing; when he wasn't in his insane "free time" mode he didn't so much as blink an eyelash without a purpose for it. "The Hellsing organization is a group which I thought I had destroyed a century ago with the death of Abraham Van Helsing."

Sears listened intently; fascinated by her master's story.

"Van Helsing tried to enslave me before the start of the twentieth century. He failed." Alucard smacked his lips disgustingly as if remembering a particularly good meal. "I killed all his kin and allies along with several members of the Round Table Conference."

Seras knew of the round table conference as the thirteen most powerful men in England; politicians, military leaders and most recently corporate billionaires and industrialists

He went on. "All that remained of the Hellsing legacy was an obscure second cousin which I knew nothing about. That only scion of the Hellsing family went on to learn of my deeds and vowed to avenge his family."

Alucard's voice darkened. What could his reason be for telling Seras these facts? Firstly, an ignorant secretary is not an efficient secretary and Seras had been here long enough to learn some truth. Secondly, he wanted to dissuade Seras from defecting to Hellsing.

Hellsing was unique among vampire hunters in that they employed friendly vampires to kill other vampires. This would have been inconceivable before Alucard's rise to power, but when the Sacred Ancestor took the throne of the Vampire Nation he rewrote all the rules, even a few that could have benefited him.

No matter how meticulous he was with is plans or how well he outsmarted his enemies, Alucard was a psychopath. He could not comprehend a mind capable of empathy no matter how much he thought he could. And no matter how good a psychopath is at his job, eventually he'll be as much of a liability to his allies as to his enemies.

Alucard was meticulous and manipulative to a fault but he was not logical. He did not want logical things. The best he could do was pretend that he was logical. Even his fellow vampires could barely understand his behaviour, no matter how well they thought they could understand him. Lestat claimed that Alucard simply wanted to watch the world burn.

The Vampire King explained further the history of his nation. "The last Hellsing had a family and she took them with her along her travels; learning the weaknesses and strengths of the undead. I tried to destroy all memory of our species but humans can be quite smart when survival is at stake."

"They survived by living on a ship called the _Demeter_. At sea no vampire could tough them and they both perfected their skills by killing minor vampires and more troublingly, spreading the knowledge of how to kill vampires." Like any good dictator, Alucard's power was largely built on misinformation. He was the most dangerous vampire on earth, he'd made William the Bloody squeal like a pig; but his power base could topple like a house of cards if his loyal henchmen knew how he really felt about them and what they were really getting as a reward for their servitude.

"They proved a true threat to my empire when at the end of the Great War they assassinated a master vampire, a potent supporter of mine and ignited the Vampire Civil War."

He smiled as he thought of the generational war he'd fought with Hellsing. "They fight a generational war, the only kind of war that humans can fight against vampires; low intensity, fighting only battles they can win and run to the safety of the sea." He grinned as he recalled the wounds that he'd dealt Hellsing, the defeats he'd thrown on them.

He stopped smiling so fast that it frightened Seras. "My power is built on fear. By killing Bartolome, Integra Hellsing has destroyed a symbol of my power and boosted the morale of the rebels; the news of a death like Bartolome's spreads rapidly through the underground information channels. The only answer is merciless retribution at any cost."

His red eyes burned into Seras's soul. "Mark my words, the price of victory is never too high," these were the words of a man driven by hatred; consumed by a loathing for a world that neither wanted him nor appeased him. No other King or Queen of Vampires had so easily and thoughtlessly killed the ancient vampires nor had anyone had the audacity to endow themselves with grandiose titles like "Sacred Ancestor". It was illogical, all-consuming contempt; especially for those who dared to call themselves his "peers."

"I never care how high the cost may grow, I will win." He growled.

He breathed in as if the confession had tired him. Then he gave her a sly smile. "And if I can be completely honest with you. I don't just expect casualties, I look forward to them."

In a precise motion, Alucard picked up his work glasses and grabbed his pen as he took the first of the day's documents. As he violently scratched the pen across the paper, he issued order to his servant. "Make me happy, Servant, tell me that my judicial system has found Natalie Romanov guilty of sedition and that traitorous whore was raped, skinned alive, raped again, chained in silver and left to either burn in the sun or to starve into dust in a dark cellar." His Romanian accent was clipped and curt.

Seras wasn't sure how to reply. "The Romanovs are dead, my master."

Alucard did not look up from the papers he was signing. "That is not what I asked nor the answer I wanted."

"Master, Natalie and her family were already dead by the time your assassins got them."

Alucard looked up. The glasses on his face magnified his eyes far beyond their true size. "What did you say?"

Seras hid her fear, pretending to be as unflappable as the Captain. "The Romanovs were murdered by an unknown assailant and evidence is inconclusive."

"Who was it?" he demanded, "Who has saved the bitch Natalie from my wrath?

Seras shook with fear at her master and handed him the reports from the scene of the crime.

Glaring and growing angrier by the minute, Alucard scanned the police reports as well as the summaries by his sorcerers and scientists. "NOTHING!" he roared and threw the papers aside. It wasn't like him to lose control outside of his free time mentality. "Useless bureaucracy!"

He made as if to strike Seras but he stopped. Seras recoiled, afraid of being struck as well as afraid of being punished for dodging a strike.

In Alucard's mind, the wheels were turning and a plan was being churned out from his corrupt brain. And to the great surprise of Seras Victoria, he began to laugh.

The madman was laughing unrestrained. He laughed the laughter of a killer; a laugh full of blood and joy. On his own he'd seen what his investigators had now. He had an epiphany. "They were picking a fight with me!" he shouted gleefully, throwing his hands in the air as if conducting an invisible orchestra.

He saw the confusion on his secretary's face and he explained as he dragged her over his desk and pulled her into a hug. "Oh happy woman," he gushed, "Someone has killed the Romanov family in order to make me blame the Vatican. The Romanovs were loved by both rebels and loyalists and their death will drive either side into a fury! HA-HAH!"

He threw Seras to the ground, fully lost in the new role he was playing. "The Iscariots use silver bullets and the Hellsings use wood stakes and anything they can to slay the undead. The instrument of murder was foreign to either side. It cannot have been the Hellsings for they stay together and had to be in Sophia to kill Bartolome."

Alucard began to madly pace the room, a conqueror lost in the frenzy of the upcoming campaign. "For this incident, I shall accuse the Vatican. Then, I shall covertly kill a few more vampires who advocated peace like the Romanovs. Their deaths I shall blame on Hellsing while my bounty hunters attack rebel leaders using the trademark weapons of the Hellsing Organization. By killing the Romanovs now, the assassins have robbed me of my chance to make justification for their deaths."

He rubbed his hands at the genius of it all. "At this terrible onslaught by human assassins, rebel and loyalist alike will beg me for protection and the vampire world will be united once more. I shall repair the wounds created by Isaac Van Helsing all those years ago."

Seras saw a flaw with this plan. "But my king, what about these mystery assassins? Won't they strike again?"

Alucard laughed and wrung his hands. "If my secret friends attack again, which I expect they will, I will use them as a boogieman to unite the splintered vampire kingdom."

He straightened up and calmed down. "Seras," he ordered.

She snapped to attention for he was brutal no matter what dissociative personality he inhabited. "Yes my lord!"

"Take all my paperwork and fill it out. Come back with an hour with it for me to approve. I need privacy now."

The moment she was gone, Alucard did the unthinkable and shut down all the security monitors on the wall. He wouldn't need them for the next little bit.

Pulling down a portrait of himself on the wall, he touched a hidden safe. The safe was enchanted so that if anyone except him touched the smooth metal they would be consumed by fire.

The safe opened without a sound, the inside was darker than the depths of space; a gloomy miasma which sucked in all light and confused the eye.

Alucard smirked and reached into the lightless void. It was so dark inside that the inside of the safe may have been infinite. After moments of searching in the empty expanse of the office safe, Alucard found what he was looking for. In his perfect white gloves, held as tenderly as an egg was a pink crystal ball the size of an overlarge grapefruit.

Alucard gazed lovingly into the perfect glass orb. It gave off an internal pink light which illuminated Alucard's gaunt features.

This was Baba's Grapefruit, one of seven crystal balls created by the ancient witch Baba Yaga. The grapefruit allowed its users the power to see the past, present or future.

It gave its users near omniscience but for a price. The orb was addictive like heroine and it sucked the life slowly from its users just like any drug. Even a vampire of Alucard's power and wisdom was not immune to the addictive powers of the grapefruit and thus he used it sparingly lest it control him rather than the other way around.

Ages ago, her true name lost, Baba Yaga was the most powerful sorcerer in the world and evil to boot. The old mage was immune to vampire bites because her soul was so corrupt that the mere whiff of it made vampires violently ill and the curse of the undead would have just passed through her like a mild flu.

Before she vanished, it was too hopeful to say that she died; Baba removed her right eye and with her art transformed it into seven orbs and each one carrying the immense promise of power and wisdom coupled with an even heftier cost. Alucard had simply been lucky enough to find one of the orbs.

Indeed, it was the grapefruit which showed him the way to the devil's academy of magic at the scholomance but failed to warn him of his first fall from power.

The grapefruit was devious and intelligent in its own way. It was a drug; a thinking and planning drug which intelligently brought down the addicts dependant on it.

For now though, Alucard would need the grapefruit's foresight if he were to prevail. The only thing that saved the Vampire King from being sucked dry by Baba's Grapefruit was not his anger but his fear.

He did not fear death, pain or torture. He was not governed by the same laws as man and vampire, but he did fear one thing. The thing he feared most was loss of control. It was the one thing in his mind which he shared in common with those of more normal psychology.

So you and I can never really understand Alucard even though we think we can. We can no more understand him than he could have understood himself.

But as Alucard gazed into the pink innards of the wizard's glass he saw what he wanted to know and he knew the orb was showing him the truth. The pleasure of knowledge flooded his damaged brain and in a moment he came in his pants from the grapefruit's euphoric effect.

The only rush greater than that of the orb came from murdering someone. Now that was a good idea at the moment.

Schrodinger the Cat was everywhere and nowhere. Despite his seeming omniscience, Schrodinger was not very wise. He was one with many facts but very little comprehension. He was between and outside of the atoms in the universe but he couldn't really understand any of it any more than the paramecium swimming in a petri dish.

It was only when he assumed physical form that he could comprehend, in however limited a fashion.

Schrodinger, everywhere and nowhere, was now in the wizard's glass and he was afraid. The eye of Baba Yaga struck fear in he who would live for as long as he could recognize himself.

The truth was that the orb was only showing Alucard half the truth. That was good, for the orbs could be swayed, just as the Major's contact predicted.

Yet, Schrodinger himself was being blocked by the grapefruit. He could be in the past and future and now there was somewhere that he was _not_.

As he tried to sway the grapefruit under his control, paradoxically it became more out of control. Reality was Schrodinger's universe as the lake is the fish's universe; and the grapefruit was threatening to pull the Schrodinger-fish from the pond.

Schrodinger was born to die so that Alucard could die and become more than an imaginary number. Schrodinger could see the future but the grapefruit was making the future.

The outcome which had always been so clear for Schrodinger was now clouded; a side effect of deluding Alucard was that now Millennium should find itself blinded.

The blind fighting the insane; how fitting.

Schrodinger didn't know what was going to happen. He only followed orders. But he knew for sure that the grand, glorious battle of annihilation; the fight between the vampires, Millennium, Hellsing and Iscariot was only an opening act to even more world shattering change.

It was going to be glorious.

* * *

That's not quite the end of that :) There will be a bonus chapter because my fans asked me so nicely. This story has been fun to write and I hope you all enjoyed it.

Ta

Master of the Boot


	6. Bonus Part 1

All the Pretty Things: Strangled at birth

Bonus chapter part 1: Hell on Earth

Disclaimer: I do not own the various trademarked characters in this story. The OC Tedora is based off of a friend of mine. This entire story is an AU of another AU story by the wonderful Sweettwilightvamps13; her story _Lovely Creatures_ captured my heard and imagination and I suggest you read it. I was originally going to do only one bonus chapter but there is too much to say in a single chapter. I hope you like it.

Warning: This chapter contains graphic rape and torture. Please be warned that the squeamish should turn back. Also, if you're expecting to find an elegant, romantic Alucard, then forget about it.

* * *

For Seras Victoria, work was never done. There were respites and the daily period of extinction where she slumbered in a coffin; but at the start of each night there was always more work to be done. The pay for the job was good but there were no weekends and holidays. Other vampires and servants of Alucard got holidays and one day off of the week to rest but for Seras she worked every day. The unfairness of it chafed her but she knew better than to question Alucard's "wisdom": last time she'd done that he ended up slicing off her ass and eating it while she watched.

Since having her ass sliced off and eaten wasn't an experience Seras cared to repeat, she merely went along with whatever he said.

Free time was still hell for her. During the two hours a day, Alucard would proceed to humiliate and brutalize her in the vilest of ways. Vampires were not squeamish creatures by nature; they were the undead, damned creatures who turned away from God's light to become night dwellers forever doomed to suck the life from the living to maintain a charade of animation. Even so, the way that Alucard treated Seras would have horrified all but the most brutal vampires; and even they would have felt uneasy by the sheer lack of restraint he showed around her during those free times.

The Captain was her sole comfort in these dark days. During her off hours, she'd spend her hard gotten wages merely so that he could treat her like a queen for a few hours. Unfortunately she never got to spend the night with the Captain, which was her greatest goal currently that didn't involve not being killed.

Tedora the Underage was just as jealous and territorial as ever. She'd slowly developed a chip on her shoulder for Seras. This animosity towards Seras had only grown when Tedora got breast implants. Her once flat, boyish chest now sported a whopping pair of "A" cups with pointy nipples that showed off just how much she wasn't wearing a bra.

Seras usually wondered why Tedora's nipples were erect all the time. It wasn't that cold in Alucard's sanctum and there weren't enough gorgeous men around to provoke arousal for that long a period of time.

As she worked at her worker drone job managing Alucard's daily affairs, her mind wandered to the Captain and his lovely blue eyes. They were such soulful eyes; when one looked into them, what one saw looked like power, wisdom and the ruins of youth.

Shuffling papers and writing in dates, Seras began to think of the Captain's straw coloured hair. Looking like straw, the Captain's hair felt like silk and Seras had spent whole sessions just feeling his hair and petting him like some kind of giant, friendly pet.

Thoughts of the Captain naturally took a down turn and she envisioned his developed neck muscles. Unconsciously, Seras began to slowly imagine him from the neck and down.

First came his thick, veined neck. Following that were his immensely broad shoulders; muscled beyond a girl's wildest dreams and too wide for most door frames.

She couldn't get her arms around him in a hug since he was so big, but he could easily fit his vast arms around her. When he did, she felt warm and safe in the harbour that his brawny body provided.

Feelings of lust were briefly overtaken by romantic overtones. She didn't know what life had to offer; she was just living day by day, hoping that it all would end somehow. With all her heart, she sincerely hoped that the Captain would be in her future.

As she signed document after document and typed madly on a computer, her mind wandered back to the Captain's sizeable manhood.

Her lip turned up in a bit of a smile as she thought of that golden treasure of masculinity that the Captain was born with.

At first it didn't fit; which wasn't wholly sad since the Captain could pleasure with his tongue better than any lesbian. Sometimes when he licked her treasure area, Seras swore that the Captain could tie knots and fold origami with is tongue. More than once he'd sent her into screaming oblivion by his tongue and lips alone.

Seras shivered at her desk but kept working; that didn't stop her from continuing to dream about the oh so manly Captain. He'd already taught her so much about pleasure; how to give it as well as to receive it.

It wasn't exactly easy for her, being a virgin girl on the D-11 police force. Despite her reputation for toughness; the sexism and crudeness of the men frequently left her blushing and stumbling for words.

Now though, she could deep throat with the best of them. After downing what the Captain had to offer, swallowing any other man's meat would seem not only easy, but laughable. He always warned her when he was about to erupt, which was far more courtesy than most men allowed the girls they had.

Seras' handwriting was becoming messier as larger parts of her brain were used to process the amazing awesomeness that was the Captain.

She remembered taking his manhood into her body for the first time. It was huge and he had to let it partly deflate before fully pushing into her, but it was worth it. Naturally, she'd had hours of preparation in order to accommodate a member of his girth, but it was worth it. On any other man, such a member would have seemed terrifying but on the captain it was beautiful and magnificent; a collector's item that any women would want to get her hands on.

Seras had finally stopped writing and was now writhing in her seat and rubbing her thighs together. Her coffee brake was almost here, it would be wise of her to get out of here before she started dripping below the waist.

Her pleasant sexy daydreams were interrupted when somebody rapped a high heeled shoe on her desk, startling Seras and causing her to help.

Curses upon curses; it was Tedora the Underage here to pay a visit. Today she'd taken off her mother's slutty evening wear and now was wearing a super tight hooker's outfit. She wore a skin-tight red vinyl top that left virtually nothing to the imagination and which her small breasts were positively popping out. All that was needed to complete the look was to have her look at a school teacher and say, "_I've been a very bad girl; I need a spanking_."

Her midriff was exposed, showing off her lovely golden belly button piercing with a giant gaudy gem in it. A tiny miniskirt barely covered her ass; lewdly showing off her lack of panties and highlighting her ten inch high heeled shoes. Indeed, she was jailbait personified. Everything she said could have been personified as innuendo; Seras was the only person who she wasn't even remotely flirty with.

Seras glared at Tedora. Despite the other vampire outranking her, she'd learned to stand up for herself in her time as a slave to Alucard's will. With the exception of the Captain, there was nobody who gave a damn in this place if she lived or died. If anything, seeing Alucard kick her down day after day made others think that they could also abuse dear Seras.

Nobody could fuck with her except for Alucard. As far as annoyances went, Tedora was merely a blip on the radar. "Oh," said Seras. "It's you."

Tedora jabbed a finger and Seras and began to scold the lower ranking vampire. "Don't you talk to me that way, bitch. I've come to remind you that the Sacred Ancestor is holding his special address tonight and you are an integral part of the organizing committee."

Seras groaned and leaned back in her less than comfortable chair. "Yes, I have it marked down in my day timer. Do you need something from me?"

Tedora placed both hands on Seras's desk and leaned forward. "Not from you, worthless maggot. I just came by to remind you of your station and for you not to think yourself above it."

Seras merely disregarded Tedora's cryptic comment. It was probably her version of rivalry but Seras could honestly give a damn about the underage vampire. "Well, as you said; I am very busy. Now fuck off." She said as he gathered her papers, loaded them into her briefcase and left Tedora with her mouth hanging open.

Indeed, only a few hours from now Alucard would be holding a special state of the nation address for the vampire nation. Unlike previous vampire kings and queens, Alucard regularly broadcasted his propaganda to his subjects in the form of grandiose public speeches which were broadcasted over the airwaves via closed circuit television and radio to Alucard's armies fighting against the rebel faction on other continents overseas.

In recent months, Alucard's armies had met some serious setbacks in America where of all things; a sparkling Unstet vampire named John Farson had claimed the entire North American continent free of Alucard's dictatorship.

Styling himself the good man and wearing a repulsive red mask and his long black hair in a permanent knot top, Farson was a former stagecoach robber from the old west before he was transformed into a vampire.

Styling himself the Good Man, John Farson denounced Alucard and painted himself as the proponent of a new liberal vampire democracy.

Despite not valuing freedom as defined by the Greco-Roman tradition, many vampires were more than welcome to the concept of democracy after a short hundred years of Alucard's totalitarian tyranny.

Farson however was hardly some good hearted democrat. Far from it, his habit of leaving the heads of his enemies on pikes was proof enough; the fact that he had repeatedly defied and decimated Alucard's handpicked death squads was just icing on the cake. He was the only man on earth who could make sparkling look drop dead manly.

John Farson and his ilk were Alucard's problem, not Seras's. She didn't care what the good man did to Alucard; she just wanted to stay alive.

Currently, Lord Alucard was getting dolled up for his public appearance and Seras needed to get the final paperwork in.

What was planned was a combination of a Nazi rally and a rock concert. Alucard was utterly devoid of empathy. He was more than just another sadist playing the role handed to him by circumstance; he was a predator who had neither peers nor friends. If the entire vampire nation had one throat, he would happily cut it just to show off his own power.

As Seras walked down the brightly lit hallway, she failed to hear the sound of werewolf's feet behind her.

A powerful force knocked Seras from behind, throwing her forward and slamming her head into a wall. The impact tore her skull open and blood flowed into her eyes.

Through her blood clouded vision, Seras could almost make out the brutal hand of Canker Canison reaching out for her. Digging his claw like fingernails into Seras's face, Canison laughed at the puny vampire's attempt at escape.

Her strength was no match for that of the inbred werewolf and he threw her aside callously.

If the Captain was one side of the werewolf coin, then Canker Canison was the other. Seras's eyesight cleared up just in time for her so see Canker bearing down on her like a blood mad dog. His fox like hair was wild and greasy and his long tongue hung out as he panted crazily.

His massive paw of a hand thrust out and grabbed Seras by the face. She tried to bite him, but her delicate fangs could hardly make a scratch on the scarred and calloused skin of canker's paw.

Seras nearly choked; the stink of Canker Canison was tremendous; like an unwashed beast bathed in blood.

To her everlasting horror, he ripped open her shirt and bra with one stroke; the cold air suddenly felt cold on her exposed breast. Meanwhile, Canker's skinny dog like legs pushed forward, thrusting his slobbering mouth full of yellowed teeth right into Seras lips.

As kisses go it was the most violent that Seras had ever had. Canker's teeth were sharp in both human and wolf form; they cut her lips and tongue and prevented any effort on her part to scream.

Her world went white when he pulled away from the kiss and threw a punch at her face. The force of the blow was so great that one of Seras's eyes popped out and rolled on the floor.

It took Seras a few moments to register what the wet, warm feeling on her nipple was. She shrieked in horror when she realized that Canker was sucking on her nipple like a leech. Canker was as hard as the Captain and nearly as strong; there was no way that Seras would get him off.

He upgraded from sucking to biting and Seras began to scream. Her howl of pain and shame rose higher and higher as Canison sunk his long canines into Seras tender breast flesh. Turning his neck violently, he tore off part of her breast and began to eat it.

Jabbing her thumb into the werewolf's eye, he yelped and sprang back.

Shakily, Seras got to her feet and started to run but something kicked her behind her kneecap. The impact was strong enough that it tore off Seras leg below the knee.

Screaming in horror and holding a hand over her empty eye socket, Seras tried to hop away, but something big and hairy jumped on top of her.

Canker Canison had transformed into his werewolf form and it was hideous. If he was ugly and deformed as a human, he looked even more so in his man-wolf form. Towering above Seras, he looked like a fur clad nightmare that was all crooked teeth, claws and blood red eyes.

Giving a barking laugh, Canison lowered his head and bit off Seras other leg.

Screaming louder than she would have ever thought possible, Seras frantically tried to grab the gun she kept strapped to her body but the crushing power of the werewolf prevented her from getting it.

Her humiliation increased tenfold when she felt the giant turgid length of the werewolf's genitals rub up against her miniskirt. She cursed her vampire regeneration as a new eyeball grew in her socket; allowing her a better view of her rapist.

When he entered her, it was brutal and quick. His sexual stamina would have allowed him to rape her for hours or ever days on end but he needed to make it quick. For Seras, it felt like her violation lasted a thousand years. The werewolf's length tore up her vaginal tissues and split her apart bloodily.

When he was done, Canker grabbed one of the flagpoles that lined the halls with Alucard's personal crest and impaled Seras on it; jamming the thick wooden pole up through her vagina and out of her shoulder. It as a clumsy impalement by Alucard's standards but it hurt like hell to Seras.

Finally, to add insult to injury, Canker took his penis in his hand and stroking himself enthusiastically, he ejaculated all over Seras; making her squirm and squeal as if she'd been sprayed with sulphuric acid.

Canker laughed and shifted back to his human form, which was marginally less disgusting. He laughed and was about to kiss Seras goodbye when she pulled out her gun and plugged him through the heart with a silver bullet.

I her hand was a massive black handgun with the name "Jackal" written on the side. It was a thirteen millimetre anti-freak combat pistol which Seras had spent a large amount of her money to order its construction.

She'd taken to carrying a weapon like this because she feared something like this would happen. Now if only she'd been more vigilant. . . nah, if only she didn't live and work in a place full of rapists, psychopaths and monsters she would have never gotten raped in the first place.

Lowering his gun, Seras hung in the middle of the oversized flagpole like a disturbing Christmas ornament; if you squinted the werewolf semen looked like fake snow from a distance.

Seras was exhausted; it wasn't just the regeneration of her eye and legs and breast that tuckered her out. She was morally exhausted. She just couldn't take it anymore. It wasn't like she had any hope.

The Captain was her one shining light in this place but he could only do so much; he was only a prosti-dude after all. The man couldn't even speak for fuck's sake!

Seras began to raise the gun. Temporarily, she contemplated putting the gun into her mouth to blow out her brains, but that reminded her too much of her rape. It would be a very long time before she wanted anything long and hard inside her body again.

So, he put the gun by her temple and prepared to squeeze the trigger.

What stopped her was the sound of footsteps. She wanted to die but she wanted to die with a little dignity. It was bad enough that she was impaled on a wooden pole and covered in werewolf cum; she didn't need somebody to see her like this.

Her worst nightmare however came true when Alucard and two armed guards walked from behind Seras and turned to face her.

Unlike Seras, Alucard was dressed in his best; the outfit was designed to evoke the Boyar and King he'd once been. Covered from head to foot in armour and sporting a magnificent red cape of blood hue, he looked barbaric and magnificent.

Likewise the two werewolf guards by his side looked equally brutal, just not as magnificent. They were clad in armour that resembled medieval knight's armour but was really made out of modern ballistics and ceramics. Each werewolf carried a long machinegun which resembled a halberd in length and in the massive blade on the end. The only thing that gave away their inhumanity was their glowing red eyes and the growling as they laid sight to their pack leader's dead body.

Alucard however merely stared blankly at Seras with a kind of bored apathy. "What are you doing?" he said.

Seras tried to muster a reply but all she could do was moan piteously and lower his handgun to her side.

"Why is Canker Canison dead? Do you know how hard it will be to replace him?" Alucard's voice rose slightly and carried a flavour of distaste.

The flagpole was exceptionally thick, almost as if it had been designed to double as an impalement pole.

Alucard became slightly angry. "You were due at the meeting with the planning committee ten minutes ago."

Seras couldn't believe what she was hearing. She'd been savagely raped and all he cared about was that she was late for some crappy meeting.

"My public announcement is in three hours," Alucard was becoming more and more worked up. "I spend months planning each and every public announcement; everything must be perfect! Are you listening!"

Alucard lunged forward and grabbed both sides of Seras face with his hands. Her terror was indescribably now; the written word can't do justice to how much fear she was feeling.

"IF I WALK BEFORE MY PUBLIC AND ANYTHING IS OUT OF SYNC THEN I'M GOING TO LOOK LIKE A FOOL!" He was screaming at the top of his lungs and his red eyes bulged out of their sockets.

Seras quivered feebly on the impalement pole; impaled, raped, covered in cum and being yelled at by a psychopath, this was the lowest point of her life so far.

"IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DIE THEN I SUGGEST YOU GET OFF YOUR FUCKING LAZY ASS AND GET BACK TO WORK!" Alucard reached back and violently slapped Seras across the face; she spat blood from the force of the strike.

Relentlessly, Alucard pulled back and threw a sturdy punch at her midriff; bursting her organs and snapping the impalement pole in half, causing it to burst through her flesh violently.

Until now Seras had been largely mute, but she screamed once more when Alucard quickly pulled one half of the impalement pole from her and yanked her rudely off of the bottom half. Screams seemed to be fairly common here; nobody would even bat an eyelash if they heard Seras screaming.

She looked up, trembling in terror as Alucard loomed over her. She hadn't felt this helpless since her mother was raped and killed before her eyes.

Alucard scowled at her, his voice was even and deathly cold. "If you fuck up my public announcement, then you'd better kill yourself if you don't want to find out what I have in store for you."

He was gone with a swish of his cape, leaving Seras raped and abused on the floor. It wasn't like he gave a shit about her anyway.

Holding back tears of humiliation and shame; Seras ran to her room to get a fresh change of clothes.

* * *

Later on, Seras did get a chance to attend the planning committee. It wasn't anywhere near as important as Alucard and Tedora made it out to be. The bulk of planning had been done much earlier and this was only a token meeting; but still a boring meeting to be sure.

Alucard had developed a large central bureaucracy to serve his needs, following the example of Ivan the Terrible as he sought to take power away from the vampire lords and concentrate it in his own camp; one of many reasons for the popular revolt against his rule.

All work had been declared finished early for every public announcement and Alucard's various servants looked forward to them always. For humans, it gave them the chance to be turned. For vampires, the meetings were a chance to throw out accusations; like during the US McCarthy Era, the best way to avoid suspicion by Alucard's secret police was to inform on one's friends and family, leading to the breakdown of traditional vampire clan structure.

Like Stalin with his centralization and collectivization plans, Alucard was modernizing the vampire nation whether they wanted it or not. In the end, all things served the No-Life King.

The main area of Alucard's underground fortress was packed with his adoring followers. It was like a hockey arena; everyone was kicking, fidgeting and screaming for the show to begin. For the vast majority of the time, Aluca7rd worked his slaves and servants like dogs; this was their time to have some fun and watch a good show. Jerry Springer couldn't match half of the shit that had gone on under Alucard's public addresses.

In the ladies washroom, Seras was splashing her face with cold water but she couldn't fully wash away the feeling that she was covered in filth. The felt like a million bugs were crawling below her skin and it took all her willpower not to rip off her skin and dig them all out one by one.

Alucard had raped her multiple times and each time she'd simply supressed the moral outrage and indignation that she felt with each violation. Now though, this was more than she could just shut into the back of her mind.

At the rate things were going, she was going to die in Alucard's servitude. He was going to kill her the moment he got tired of her; of that she was completely sure of

Her introspection was interrupted by Drusilla bursting into the bathroom with a headless doll in her hands. "MISS EDITH!" Drusilla shrieked shrilly and she squeezed the doll to her body.

Seras yelped and pushed herself against the wall in case Drusilla tried to rape her as well. "Bah! What the hell do you want?"

Drusilla was crying her eyes out; the she-bitch vampire who's torn out people's eyes and committed unspeakable acts of torture was now bawling like a crybaby. In one hand, she held the doll's head with its dead eyes and blank face.

"T-h-h-he cr-cr-crimson king," she stopped as she choked on her words. "KILLED MISS EDITH!"

Seras remembered now, Miss Edith was the name of Drusilla's collection of dolls; like any good psycho bitch she fawned over a collection of dolls in a highly creepy way.

On the whole Seras couldn't understand Drusilla but she knew that the crimson king was one of the names that she had for Alucard.

"HE KILLED MISS EDITH!" She wailed loudly.

Seras frowned as she thought of what Alucard was capable of. If he killed Miss Edith, it was also likely that he threw the rest of Drusilla's dolls into an incinerator while she watched. He was nothing if not completely anti-social.

Gently taking the doll and the doll head from Drusilla, Seras reattached the doll and the head with a snug twist and fit. It was no effort at all really.

This elicited a happy squeal from Drusilla who hugged her doll tightly and shouted. "Miss Edith, you're alive!"

Seras was about to quietly leave when a grateful Drusilla got right into your face. "You have helped Miss Edith," said the cryptic vampire lady. "Pretty cakes and nice dresses is what you shall have from three lamps."

Seras smiled politely but decided to be honest with Drusilla. "Eh, yeah. Look, I like you very much but since we've met I haven't understood a single word you're saying. And I really need to get going so—

"Do you know why I left Spike?" she asked suddenly.

Seras looked for an avenue of escape but saw none. "I don't see how that's relevant to anything—but please continue."

"I left Spike because he's a faggot."

Seras just stared at Drusilla awkwardly. Under different circumstances she would have been beyond grateful that Drusilla chose to spoke in coherent (if irrelevant) sentences.

"Run, Seras." Said Drusilla. The directness of the statement and the lucidity with which she said it took Seras aback.

"Run now, while you still can." Drusilla was deathly serious. "He's going to kill you." Her dark eyes were peering into Seras's very soul. Then she was gone, along with Miss Edith and her newly restored head.

* * *

Thanks for that :D Next chapter we see Alucard during his state of the Union adress; which will be a cross between the Nuremberg Rally and a Kiss concert. I'm actually modelling Alucard after real life dictators rather than any kind of romanticized king of the past. The next chapter will also show show the final showdown between Seras and her tormentor, Alucard. It's going to have thrills, chills and drama! You'll love it.

Review and read :D Have fun!

Ta

Master of the Boot


	7. Bonus Part 2

All the Pretty Things: Strangled at birth

Bonus chapter part 2: Nuremberg 2.0

Disclaimer: I do not own the various trademarked characters in this story. The OC Tedora is based off of a friend of mine. This entire story is an AU of another AU story by the wonderful Sweettwilightvamps13; her story _Lovely Creatures_ captured my heard and imagination and I suggest you read it. I was originally going to do only one bonus chapter but there is too much to say in a single chapter. I hope you like it.

Warning: This chapter contains horror and Alucard being a bastard. Seriously, he's not nice in this; I'm talking about Adolf Hitler type mean. This chapter also contains Alucard dressing stylish.

* * *

Seras stood on stage before hundreds of Alucard's servants. Among them were the No-Life King's soldiers, assassins, torturers, scientists, craftsmen and butchers. Each one of them was more deviant than the last. Living for a full century under Alucard, his servants had grown progressively more brutal and cruel. New vampires created under Alucard's reign generally did not know of the honour and respect shared by the older vampires. The only rule that they followed was that Alucard's word was iron.

Everyone was screaming and shouting madly. "_Boss! Boss! Give us the boss_!" It was like a football chant that they kept on repeating.

_Where is the boss!_

_Show us the boss!_

_Boss! Boss!_

_Give us the boss!_

Dressed in her slutty police girl's outfit, Seras hated every last one of them. Part of her wanted to run when Drusilla said to, but truthfully there was no place that she could run to. There was also the fear that if she ran, Alucard would find her and make her pay.

Maybe he wouldn't find her in America; but he'd heard enough propaganda about John Farson and the other vampire rebel leaders on various continents to fear travelling anywhere abroad.

She'd planned plenty of public announcements for Alucard, but this was the first time she would be actually taking part in it. During the last two public spectacles she'd been buried alive and hadn't had the chance to watch the show.

Feeling naked and nervous before the crowd, Seras wishes that the microphone in her hand was a gun and that she could blow off all their heads in a messy explosion. Since her feelings were completely irrelevant to anything, she held the microphone close to her mouth and began the ceremony.

"HALLO EVERYBODY!" Seras shouted with glee that she did not feel. Her smile was bright and plastic. Her teeth shone and the outfit she wore showed off enough cleavage that she even wished she was wearing her marginally less skimpy uniform. This blue outfit showed off even more than her tan one. No doubt this was done intentionally by Alucard who knew that the affairs of state were less important to the peasants than boobies and booze.

Immediately the tumult of the crowd went down but did not completely subside. They wanted to see their king!

"I'd just like to welcome everyone to another State of the Nation address by our own kind and benevolent sacred ancestor."

At the mention of Alucard, everybody cheered and shouted.

Seras smiled and went on. "There will be music and entertainment and the faithful will show their worth by denouncing traitors along with public executions with audience participation."

This evoked even more cheering and hollering. This was the mob, but unlike Caesar, there was no senate to hold back Alucard's will. Instead, there was only a brutal secret service that enforced the king's will with an iron fist.

Seras knew that the crowd was already getting impatient so she went with the script and got on with it. "So I suggest that you all give him a very big hand because he deserves it more than anybody."

"Without further ado I would like to present to you his imperial majesty The No-Life King, The Sacred Ancestor, Alucard the Noble, General of the Armies of the Vampire Kingdom—I bring you ALUCARD!" Seras shouted as the spotlight behind her went on.

But there was nobody there. Alucard should have been sitting in the spotlight but he wasn't there.

Seras's eyes widened and she started to shake her head slightly and whisper. "No." He was supposed to be there.

All of Alucard's bizarre servants were shocked too. They were all demanding to know where their king was. He was the whole reason they turned up even though they had better things to do with their time.

Seras was at a loss. Now was the worst time for Alucard to have a bout of mental illness and no show up. Wringing her microphone, there was nothing she could think of saying that would make the crowd any less angry.

Just when it seemed like everything was going to turn violent, a voice called out that everybody heard.

"Oi, over here!"

Everyone looked over to the source of the new voice. Simultaneously, the spotlight shone over the speaker. There was Alucard, with his back to the crowd.

Suddenly he spun around and cackled playfully, as if he'd just pulled a quaint practical joke on everyone. "Fooled you, didn't I?" he sang lightly.

Gone was the medieval suit of armour and red cape from earlier. Instead, Alucard had opted for a whole new wardrobe without telling anybody. His lean form was completely encased in a shiny black leather straight jacket except for his hands and head.

His white gloves shone as brilliantly as diamonds; it was criminal for anything to be so spotless.

But the most grotesque feature of his new outfit was his face. Expertly, Alucard had gone and done up himself so that his face looked like the Ace of Spades. The horrific whiteface makeup made him look like a fucked up clown with his blood red eyes and lips done up with black lipstick.

The icing on the cake came in the form of a massive handlebar moustache which had a span of eight whole inches. He looked to be a marvellous freak show; a certifiable loon. Nobody would ever make the mistake of certifying him sane.

Alucard wagged a finger playfully at his audience. "Come on, you were fooled; admit it! HA-HAH!"

At this, everybody joined him in laughter and Alucard just went with it. The grin on his face was too happy to be sane and it seemed to scrunch up his features instead of widen them; as if every time he smiled it borrowed matter from other parts of his face. His hair was wild and untamed.

Alucard chuckled politely as the laughter from the crowd died down. "Well, I have always fancied myself as something of a comedian." He punctuated his sentence with mirthless laughter and he waited for everybody to stop laughing in order to start talking again.

"Honestly though, times are hard ladies and gentleman," Alucard said in a most sombre manner. Nearly everybody present made a point of agreeing with him. Seras was still horrified by his hideous makeup.

"So that is why," he shouted passionately, "I have taken this time to address my nation, my people, my children!" His voice grew louder and more fiery with each passing word. He was like the head priest of some demented cult. Everyone cheered on their glorious leader.

He held out his arms widely, like a maestro before his orchestra. "Because right now ladies and germs, I am the one thing standing between you good people and the forces of chaos!"

Everybody shouted in agreement.

Alucard's teeth flashed as he went on with his speech. "Right now, there are those who have a bone to pick with me; but instead of going in and fighting it with me personally those CUNTS are going after my beloved children!" His words of fire were accompanied by wild hand gestures which were perfectly calculated to look impressive. Alucard's choreography was perfect; at their best, Hitler and Stalin never looked so good on camera.

As he went on with his speech, camera crews recorded his every move and skilled translators transmuted the Sacred Ancestor's speech into whatever language his troops were hearing. All of it broadcasted on secret pirate channels meant only for Alucard's armies out in the field and his subservient vampire nests. It was a new age and Alucard was using information technology to his full advantage.

"And as you know!" he screamed, spittle flying from his mouth with passion. "If we are to survive the onslaught of the rebel scum, we must have strength!"

_"Strength!_" cried the masses.

Alucard held up a tightly clenched fist. "There is no strength without obedience!"

_"Obedience!"_

"Through obedience to the Sacred Ancestor, there is strength! Strength through obedience, from the leader comes strength!"

"_Strength through obedience! Survival through obedience! The Sacred Ancestor wills it!"_

"YES!" Alucard howled like a rabid wolf calling to the heavens. "Strength through obedience! Survival through obedience! The Sacred Ancestor wills it!"

Seras saw the whole thing from the sidelines. To her, this whole pageant was disgusting. It was a thinking man's zombie movie come to life. These people were baring their throats and surrendering their souls and minds to a depraved lunatic. He would take everything he could from them and they would welcome it.

Did any of them even remember a time when there was no Alucard? Were there any who could remember back to the not so distant past when there was no Sacred Ancestor or Vampire civil war? Could Seras remember anything of her time before her enslavement? The answer was not looking good.

The whole crowd was jumping up and down screaming like madmen. It was bedlam under the bright stage lights Alucard stood.

"And now," Alucard shouted in a far more jubilant tone. "I have good news. We have managed to uncover traitors in our midst."

At the mention of traitors, everyone started to laugh maliciously. Seras was getting a bad feeling just watching it.

"That is right," Alucard proclaimed passionately. "These traitors have broken my trust, spat in my face and turned their backs on our time honoured ways."

It was a bit hypocritical of Alucard to talk about time honoured ways. All he had done since his coronation was rip apart vampire tradition to shreds in order to satisfy his own ego.

"And when somebody fucks with me, they're also fucking with all of you!" He began to pace wildly across the stage. Up in the rafters, the nude goggle wearing women with knives all over their bodies smiled vacantly at Alucard and munched on the occasional passing bat.

Alucard stopped briefly to pull a strand of hair out of his face and he inflamed his people further. Human, vampire, demon and anything in between was eating out of Alucard's hands and he was loving it.

"ARE YOU GOING TO LET THESE WORTHLESS TRAITORS FUCK WITH YOU!"

"_NOOOO!"_ came the deafening scream of five thousand different voices. Seras had to clamp he hands over her ears for the volume caused her pain.

Alucard however showed no sign that the sound hurt his ears. If anything, he drank it all up, desperate for more.

Turning around and pirouetting like a game show host. "Well, since you asked for it, here they are folks!"

On cue, a dozen sexy vampire dancing girls and a dozen brutal werewolf guards hauled in the traitors. Of the vampires brought in, it was unlikely that more than half of them were really traitors. The rest were most likely being killed so that Alucard could take their possessions and divvy it out to his loyal followers.

Seras winced as she saw the vampire Lestat escorted in silver and steel chains, his normally dapper clothes torn to rags and silver barbs stuck six inches deep into his flesh. His companion the vampire Marius seemed to be in the same predicament.

The brothers Luke and Jan Valentine were up on stage as well, stripped totally naked. Jan's eyes had been torn out and Luke's tongues had been ripped out. Jan screamed frantically to his brother as the guards manhandled him. "LUKE! LUKE! What the fuck is going on!"

To this, his brother only had to gurgle and moan incoherently.

Stepping onto the stage with more prisoners was a creature that looked like a sixteen year old boy but had a cantaloupe sized spider head growing out of his stomach which seemed to have a mind of its own and was very hungry.

As Seras scanned the miserable and beaten faces of the vampires before Alucard, she was relieved to see that Drusilla was not among them. Perhaps she'd fled with her life earlier.

To begin the lurid display of executing the "traitors" Alucard had Lestat force fed poison. It was awful. The normally dapper vampire who'd shown Seras actual courtesy and kindness was foaming at the mouth and vomiting his guts up. As he choked and coughed, Lestat pleaded—begged like a no good whore—for a drink, something to clean out his mouth; one little glass of water.

Alucard remained completely silent. A sly grin etched on his features. In his own mind, he was getting revenge on the cabal of vampires who put him on the throne in the first place.

He was the goddamn Sacred Ancestor. There were no predecessors to him; answerable to no one and about as vile as they came. He was violent, sado-masochistic, misogynistic, racist, jealous and proud of it. He was a petty, unjust, unforgiving control freak with homophobic, genocidal, filicidal, capriciously malevolent tendencies. And he was also a bully.

If he could get away with it, he would feed the same poison to everyone in the audience and _then _see how they cheered. But then there would be nobody to glorify him.

A new creature stepped on stage and joined the youth with a spider head sticking out of his gut. This was a tall, feminine shape with the bald head of a vulture.

Pulling out two stands of silver coated barbed wire, the Vulture-woman and the Spider-boy each grabbed a strand and started to use it to floss the crotch of a female vampire that Seras did not recognize.

Her features were turning green; she was going to be sick.

The female vampire shrieked as her labia and clitoris was shredded like sliced meat by the back and forth motion of silver coated razor wire.

Jan was really getting frantic now. He was threatening and crying like a baby in equal turns. Approaching him was bandaged figure which dripped slime from under his mummy like wrappings and cradles a purring chainsaw in its mottled, deformed hands.

Seras couldn't watch anymore and went to leave since she would play no greater part in this satanic farce.

She sprinted down the deserted hallways, realizing now was her time to flee.

The prospect of freedom was terrifying. There was nowhere to go and no time to pack anything of significance before Alucard's address of his people was over.

That was when the first explosion happened. She didn't see it but she felt it. Somewhere in Alucard's underground lair, a bomb went off and it caused shockwaves through the place.

The rumble in the floor caused Seras to trip and fall. Shocked by the fall, Seras dimly was aware of when the Jackal fell from her hidden holster and slid across the floor.

While she wasn't willing to wait for time to pick up any of her good, Seras wasn't going to leave without her gun. More shockwaves rocked everything and caused dust to fall from the ceiling. A hundred pound chunk of concrete fell from the ceiling but Seras easily knocked it aside.

Grabbing her weapon from the floor, Seras began to run with increased urgency. Behind her, explosions tore apart the hallway. She felt the heat of the flames and knew that she didn't want to be anywhere near here if one of those explosions went off near Alucard's central armoury.

Distant bombs detonating went off and caused Seras's sensitive vampire ears to ring—then she hit something hard and unyielding.

Falling backwards, Seras drew her gun and aimed it at whatever or whoever she'd run into.

Dust had fallen into her eyes and as she tried to blink it out, she heard a voice. "Well, if it isn't tha' police kitteh."

Seras groaned as she heard Paladin Anderson chuckle. Of all the people to run into on her way to freedom, this took the cake. "Get out of the way, Anderson," she threatened; not lowering her gun.

Anderson just laughed. "Ye expect ta kill meh with tha' little pea shooter, lass?"

Seras wasn't in the mood for this. At any moment they might all be blown sky high. "Just get out of my way, please." As disgusting as Anderson was, he'd never particularly been unkind to her in comparison with some people. The worst he'd done was comment about how he'd like to fuck her when he thought that she couldn't hear him; and the man was a priest somehow.

This caused more laughter from the Scottish priest, who calmly stood even as more shockwaves caused the lights overhead to blink on and off. "Come on lass," he crooned. "Give a servant o' the lord some head." At this, he began to thrust his hips forward a little and began to tease her. "Come an' see Alex's big salami." He began to laugh rancorously even as an explosion went off behind him.

His behaviour, while lewd and immature was also raising Seras's suspicions. For a man who'd sold out the Vatican in service to a vampire he seemed remarkably cavalier about the fact that bombs were going off inside Alucard's fortress. Seras could even begin to hear the sound of Alucard's subjects being killed in the explosions.

"Are you mad?" Seras screamed. "We could both be killed."

"Nae fear o' tha' lass," he reassured her. "Ah know exactly where an' when the bombs will fly."

Seras blinked owlishly at Anderson but knew better than to take her aim off of him. "How would you know that?"

"Because ah helped set them up," he said it like it was the most obvious answer in the world. Another explosion caused the lights to flicker, throwing his glasses into glare and causing his eyes to resemble soulless white orbs; his white teeth shone in the semi-darkness. "Me and one other man are responsible fer this. Ah'm a fully-fledged triple agent."

Seras's face frowned at the idea of a triple agent. "Is there even such a thing as a triple agent?" So he was working for the Vatican but was actually betraying them to work for Alucard and he was betraying Alucard to work for. . . who exactly?

Anderson did a little mock bow. "Ye're looking at a triple agent, lass." He straightened up and dusted off his cassock. "Ah did most of the work but the second traitor was critical; ah couldnae done this without' him."

Anderson leaned forwards, his glasses and teeth shone demonically. "Now lass, since ah've got a full ten minutes afore the really big bomb goes off; how about ye give meh some head before ah pull off yours and stick it on a pike?"

"Stay back," warned Seras. "I don't care that you betrayed Alucard but if you even touch me I won't hesitate to spread you."

Anderson chuckled in a most unfriendly fashion. "Tha's alright; ah think ah'll just settle fer killin' ye afore ah leave."

Several seconds had gone by without an explosion. As Seras became aware of this fact, a squad of Alucard's soldiers had appeared. Three of them were vampires and four were human; the humans being nothing more than simple cannon fodder.

The humans were each clad in bizarre looking leather bondage gear; one of them even wore a calf hide mask that looked like a white rabbit. The white rabbit held a heavy flamethrower on his broad, muscular back. Two of the humans were female and were naked except for bulletproof vests and gimp masks; everything below the waist was totally exposed.

The gimp sisters hefted fifty calibre rifles at Anderson; their willowy builds belayed their intense but all too human strength.

The last human was an androgynous figure covered except for their eyes in black leather. The androgyne had the words "panther fist" written on his/her chest and carried a giant cattle prod with an enormous battery on their back.

The vampires were considerably less strange looking except for the fact that the one female vampire had giant raven like wings on her back.

One male vampire with a gold tooth hissed and snarled at Anderson. "Paladin Alexander Anderson, by the order of the Sacred Ancestor, you are to be tortured and executed."

Anderson merely smiled, glasses and teeth glowing. "Come get meh," he taunted.

The gimp sisters raised their guns but Anderson was too quick for them. Charging forward like a mad beast, Anderson leapt and punched the first sister with enough force that her head exploded.

He delivered an expert martial arts kick that decapitated the other gimp sister and followed through with a dodge and lethal punch when the cattle prod androgyne tried to zap him; punching right through its chest.

The raven winged vampire lunched at Anderson with claws like an eagle, but she was out of her element within the confined tunnels, no matter how strong her bloodline was.

Jumping up, Anderson landed on the she-vampire back and with pure pleasure on his face ripped out her wing; causing her to scream loudly.

At this time, Seras was interested in escaping even if the bombs were no longer going off. She ran as fast as her legs would take her; the remaining lights in the tunnel flew by in a blur until they became a single stripe of light. These tunnels were starting to become familiar.

Suddenly, Seras screamed out a cry that was equal parts air and blood. She fell and rolled hard on the floor; smashing her head upon the wall. Sticking out of her back was a blessed bayonet that burned her like fire.

Shrieking in pain and curling up in foetal position, Seras beheld the godly silver coated steel that stuck out of her gut. The blessing paralyzed her as effectively as any neuro-toxin. She couldn't move.

Thudding footfalls alerted her to the presence of Paladin Anderson; she could only guess what he'd done to the vampires who tried to apprehend him. He wasn't one of the Vatican's hard men for nothing.

"It's over," Anderson uttered, two incredibly long bayonets in either hand.

Anderson laughed to himself. Seras Victoria had always been a veritable cocktease in her pretty little police outfit. It just wasn't right for a woman to show off herself like that. Girls who dressed like that and didn't just give it to a lonely fellah were deserving of God's own special brand of punishment.

Seras covered her eyes as Anderson thrust forward with both blades—only to be stopped by something hard and indestructible.

Anderson's field of vision was suddenly filled with bulging muscles and perfumed skin that must drive all the women mad with need. For once, he found himself looking up at somebody instead of down. Towering before Anderson was the Captain, who looked like he didn't even feel the bayonets jabbing into his flesh.

"_Captain,_" Seras gasped with a small hopeful smile on her bloodied face.

Towering over Anderson and twice as muscular, the Captain was dressed just in a pair of trousers and his trademark hat. His blue eyes were full of fury as he met Anderson's wild green gaze.

Grabbing both of Anderson's wrists in his massive hands, The Captain crushed Anderson's wrist bones like glass.

Anderson cried out in shock as his limp hands let go of the bayonets—a cry of shock that was cut off as the Captain brutally head-butted Anderson on the nose; breaking his glasses in the process.

Somehow, Anderson managed to fire off two bayonets at the Captain before his wrists had healed. The Captain held up his arm and the bayonets sunk into that; he showed no sign that he felt any pain.

Leg snaking out behind Anderson's, the Captain pulled out Anderson's leg and caused the man to lose his balance.

As Anderson fell backwards, the Captain did two things; first he turned behind him and pulled the bayonet right through Seras body. This causes her exquisite agony but now she was no longer paralyzed from the blessings.

Secondly, the Captain reached back and threw a punch at Anderson's midsection; ripping a hole in the man bigger than a bowling ball and driving his fist right through Anderson's spine.

Anderson twitched like a bug on a needle and forgetting the danger for the moment, Seras ran to hug the Captain but to her surprise he shoved her back with one enormous hand.

For a moment, Seras looked at the Captain with hurt; he was the only one here to treat her humanely.

The Captain's eyes were full of urgency; he pointed with a mighty arm to the hall behind Seras in the direction that she'd been fleeing.

Seras understood instantly. He wasn't rejecting her; he was urging her to not forget what she sought to do. He was telling her to get to safety, because at that moment Anderson charged at the Captain once more with his blessed blades.

As much as Seras wanted to help the Captain, she knew that she'd only get in the way. The Captain could do a lot more than just fuck and Anderson for all his crude nature was a hardened killer.

So she ran, but not before scooping up the Jackal.

She ran farther and faster than ever before. The halls were becoming familiar. She could remember the various scratches and the colour of the stone from when she'd been first brought down here by that group of vampires.

She was getting close now. She could almost taste her freedom. She could smell fresh air for the first time in god knew how long.

She was there! The door where she left the world of light those long years ago. And there guarding the door to her escape was Alucard himself.

Seras froze on the spot like a rabbit before a hungry snake; except the rabbit could expect more mercy from the snake.

Alucard was looking at Seras with an expression of lazy satisfaction. Dozens of his citizens were dead or wounded, terrorists had bombed his stronghold, his own double agent had betrayed him but despite everything he still felt fine. Maybe he felt fine precisely because everything was the way it was; perhaps the chaos fed and sustained him in a way that normal order and peace just didn't.

The whiteface makeup was smoothly distributed across his face. Over his right eye in black was the shape of a spade from a deck of cards. On his left temple was an "A" symbolizing the ace. The black lipstick he wore brought out the polished whiteness of his teeth, jagged and frightening.

He peered at Seras lazily through long eyelashes. He was the pinnacle of relaxation. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he asked easily.

Seras stood catatonic at this final twist of the knife that fate had handed her. Just as she was about to be pulled out of shark infested waters one of the hungry bitches took her leg off. The thoughts in her head were the same as the ones a woman might think before being taken off to hang until dead.

There was no escape. There would be no freedom. She would die.

Alucard took a lazy step towards her and then another lazy step. "I really should thank you for what you've done." His lip curled with a mix of disdain and lust. "Free time with you is like using the toilet; it helps me get the shit out of my system so I can function."

"If I could, every hour of every day would be free time with me." His smile was friendly but his words were cold and dead.

"Did you think you could get away?" he drawled

The bombs had stopped exploding and the fortress no longer reverberated with them. It was as if Alucard had stopped the explosives with sheer willpower.

Seras couldn't respond. As bad as free time was, she'd seen what Alucard did to dissenters and traitors. Dereliction of duty was particularly brutally punished. For her crime the least she could expect would be to be tortured for month's non-stop.

He was getting closer and Seras held up her gun. Though she pointed it at Alucard. "Keep back!" she tried to yell, but it only came out as a sort of mewl. Terror was threatening to overwhelm her as her worst nightmare walked towards her with a mind full of malice.

She tried begging even though she didn't mean for it to come out as such. "Please, just let me go. I can't keep doing this; what you're doing is going to kill me." Emotion was etched across her face despite her years of practice at concealing her feelings.

Alucard stopped moving forward and merely chuckled in a fatherly way. "I'm aware that my practices could kill you at any time, but that's a risk I'm willing to take."

He went on. "Not long ago, I peered into the witch's glass and it showed me that a traitor in my midst would attack during my ceremony; that was why I sent away all the very important vampires on various missions and left behind the garbage."

Intellectually, Seras was aware of how cold blooded his words were but couldn't bring herself to feel anything except cold numbness. Selfish as it sounded to those who may be sitting comfortably at home, her life was directly at risk and that mattered more than the faceless slaves who'd been killed by the bomb explosions. Selfishness was an easily learned lesson here in the kingdom of the Sacred Ancestor and Alucard was the perfect teacher.

As he spoke, Alucard's hands twitched as if he could hardly control his violent impulses. "Now, my kingdom has been attacked and nobody important was killed. In this most cowardly terrorist attack, many vampires in my armies lost mates and sires."

He flashes a most psychotic grin. "And when a vampire loses their mate, it makes them willing to die; they become something that I can use." Try as he had, even Alucard's totalitarian methods could not break the intensely strong vampire mating bond. Upon the death of one of the mates, a vampire would either kill itself or single mindedly pursue revenge.

"Best of all, with so many vampires losing their loved ones forever this will silence the last elements who think we should negotiate with the rebels or compromise." He said the word "negotiate" as if it were a dirty word; "compromise" sounded like a word that Alucard had never heard before.

His face twitched with something akin to hunger; rage and a sense of entitlement were written on his warped, grinning features. His black painted lips were pulled back fully to show off his numerous shark like teeth.

"The last thing the witch's grapefruit showed me was you." He held out his arm and pointed a finger at Seras as if she'd done a great misdeed to him. Fury it seemed had totally overwhelmed Alucard.

His manner was no longer casual and relaxed; he was trembling with rage.

The sight of him made Seras feel like her chest was full of wet cement. She didn't need to breath but she felt like she was suffocating; suffocating with fear.

Here before her was not a man but rather a blind, stumbling thing. Like a cancer, Alucard's only mission in life was to kill that which sustained him. Seras had lived with Alucard like he was cancer; although he was far more torturous than any chemo or radiation therapy.

The sad thing was that seeing death straight in the eye did nothing for Seras. She didn't know anything now in the face of oblivion that she didn't know five minutes ago. There was nothing glorious or dignified about the end she would face.

Weakly, she raised her gun. "Don't come any closer. I'll shoot," but her voice sounded as weak and pitiful as a kitten.

"You have spirit," Alucard remarked.

BLAM!

The Jackal went off as Seras shot Alucard in the eye. Through the thin whisp of gun smoke, Alucard simply stood there.

Then he slowly turned his head and laughed. The bullet wound Seras had inflicted was totally healed.

It was foolish of her to think that a little piece of silver would be enough to kill Alucard, even if it was blessed. The king of vampires was too full of hate to die; he kept on living because he thought that his death might benefit somebody or just make someone happy.

Living well is the perfect revenge; living forever is a horror. Alucard would continue to live and he would not only see his enemies' funerals but he'd see their children, grandchildren and great grandchildren's funerals. He's stick around like a perverse god who endlessly demanded sacrifice and he would never die, not until there was nothing left to torture or kill.

Alucard began to laugh. At first it was low but then built up to a full cackle. "You have spirit! I like that."

Immediately his gleeful smile changed into a scowl so fast it made Seras jump back.

"But that's why you have to die. I really can't let you live now that I know you'll disobey me." It was true. Alucard liked strong women; but only when they were subservient to his will.

It happened so fast that Seras didn't even see it. In a heartbeat, she was pinned to the wall by Alucard, who held her hands firmly in his.

His horrible leering face was only a whisper away from hers; she could almost feel his moustache. Now she felt like she'd swallowed a bucket of acid and it was eating at her insides. In her head, she prayed over and over to god to simply let her die but then she stopped because God had never answered her prayers before; there was no reason that they should be answered now.

The voice that Alucard spoke with was surprisingly calm and clear, it contrasted utterly to his wide, painful grin and bulging eyes against his chalk white skin. "I'm going to drink your blood, then I shall eat your heart and then enjoy the taste of your brains as I eat it with a crudely fashioned fork or spoon."

As he opened his mouth and flashes his white teeth, Seras made the mistake of looking inside his gaping maw.

Inside Alucard's mouth she could see things moving. There were faces, voices coming from inside Alucard as if he'd swallowed people whole and they couldn't get out. She heard voices screaming for their mothers, their fathers, for God and for anybody who had once been precious to them.

Inside Alucard's throat, Seras saw the faces of those who's souls he'd consumed. Each one had been burned and blasted of any individuality; in their misery they were all equal. From within that dark soup Seras could hear the screaming of babies who Alucard had devoured like sugar candies.

In a moment she'd share that fate and become one more screaming soul in Alucard's fortress of souls. And try as she might, he was simply too strong for her to break free from.

In her wildest dreams and hopes, Seras could never have imagined that this was not her day to die.

An explosion shook the base that was so powerful it killed the lights and threw Alucard off of Seras.

"What the devil is that?" he demanded. His men should have disarmed all the bombs; unfortunately, the witch's grapefruit is a cruel friend. What it did not tell Alucard about was that there was a mini nuke smuggled into his base of operations and set to blow.

This explosion they were facing wasn't just an explosion, it was the last one.

Immediately, the dark tunnel came to light with blinding life. The lights came on so brightly that they exploded.

Seras seized the opportunity. Kicking Alucard in the face, she began to run towards the exit just as the temperature in the tunnel started to reach oven like proportions.

The whole base blew in less than half a second, but thanks to Sears vampire reflexes, she was able to slam through the door and run into the Bulgarian night.

Once more Seras was blinded, but this time by the moonlight. It was a perfect full moon out, just like the one that had been present when she'd been taken to this place for the first time.

For a moment, she reached out her hand as it to touch the moon's silky face. During all her imprisonment, she'd never once set foot outside of Alucard's hellish underground lair.

Her reverie was cut short when the entire University behind her exploded

* * *

Thanks for that :D At first I was just going to do one more chapter but there's too much that I want to say and too little time to do it in. In the next chapter, Seras gets caught in a brother's quarrel with Alucard and Radu.

Review and read :D Have fun! I'd like to thank all my friends out there :) And especially big thanks to Sweettwilightvamps13 for giving me this idea.

Ta

Master of the Boot


	8. Closure

All the Pretty Things: Strangled at Birth

Chapter Seven: Closure

Disclaimer: I do not own any tardemark characters or other things. This is a non-profit venture based off the story _Lovely Creatures_ by Sweettwilightvamps13. I suggest you check out that story because without that there would be no Pretty Things. Also, this chapter was partly inspired by a quote from _Harry Potter_. Sirius Black talked about how the measure of a man was gained from how he treated his inferiors, not his equals. I hope that I got a measure of Alucard that is more than just a rosy image and a few charming lines. Enjoy :D

* * *

_1853, Castle Dracula_

_Count Dracula stood in the dark throne room of his castle with nothing for company but the cobwebs and his own submissive brother Radu. _

_Everything about the place spoke of a marriage of splendour and decay in the same turn. The stone of the ancient fortress was crumbling and the mortar was being washed away by the hard Transylvanian elements. The tapestries had long since rotted away and the Count had done nothing to stop it or to attempt to maintain or repair the place. Even the chair that the Count sat on was a mouldy mess. _

_Gold inlay had long since rubbed away and jewels long lost their shine fell off when the wooden frame became consumed by mould, fungi and other masters of decay. At present it was a miracle that the chair could support any weight at all. _

_A malodorous funk saturated the entire castle where bats and wolves living inside had defecated wherever they pleased. Dracula liked his pets to kill on command; he never spent any time housebreaking them. _

_At present, the infamous Count tapped a finger on the armrest of his throne; deep in thought was the old tyrant. He was truly a crude, frightening figure. His high cheeked, hawk like face was covered by a shaggy black beard that looked like the fur of a bear; equally shaggy and knotted black hair hunt down to his shoulders. _

_On the old vampire's hands were gloves of thick black leather which inside his hands were like cold claws of iron. Every inch of him looked like a dirty, miserable and dangerous bandit. Dirt and grime stained every hair and square inch of clothing that he wore. _

_Around the floor of the throne room the Count had his trophies. Heaps of gold coins lay covered in the dust of ages. Some of the antique, valuable coins were randomly scratched and bitten as if their owner sought to destroy a few of them out of caprice. Human skeletons wearing the rotting remains of Iscariot priest robes hung from the walls on rusted and decayed spears. _

_Up on one of the walls was a Greek Icon of Jesus Christ the saviour; several bullet holes marred the face of Christ and the Count had even gone so far as to paint an erect penis on the messiah. _

_Count Dracula spoke. His voice was rough and aged; he wasn't used to speaking. If he wanted something, he simply murdered everyone and took what he wanted. _

_Slowly and methodically, Dracula rose up from his throne and made his way across the room. He ignored his brother, who cowered before his much more formidable brother. As he walked, Dracula stepped on a golden crown of ancient design and bent it horribly out of shape; he paid no heed. _

_The Count reached a jagged and ill repaired window; it looked like the whole wall might come down. In the courtyard, under the moon's gaze were a gathering of vampires. The newly created vampires danced and laughed around a fire as they prepared to feed the flames with other vampires. _

_The bound and tied vampires had their mouths unblocked; their screams were magnificent as they were tossed into the bonfire. High above it all, the smell of burning vampire flesh was like perfume to Dracula's nose. He smiled brightly; his white teeth standing starkly against his rough appearance and mouldy clothes. "Radu, look at them. I took all they had, starved and isolated them in my dungeon. I took it all away until there was nothing left but my voice and the darkness." _

_His chest shook as he began to laugh contemptuously at the vampires in the court below. "And then give them my taint and a few bowls of virgin's blood and they are ready to give me their lives." _

_He turned to his brother. "If I knew that having followers would be this much fun, I would have done it long ago." _

_His happy expression changed to one of distaste. "I'm done with petty theft and torture. I am meant for bigger things than killing fanatical priests and raping bitch vampires who are taken in by your glamour." _

_At this, Radu began to examine the sleeve of his coat; guilty over the crimes he'd helped his brother commit. _

_Indeed, Dracula was not like other vampires. He treated his own kind with the same kind of antipathy he treated humans with. He hunted and killed his own kind, but not out of revenge or other logical motives. _

_Dracula was not a logical man; intelligent and methodical but not logical. He couldn't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Frankly, he killed his own kind because it was fun. Those burning vampires on the pyre down there were specimens he'd either created or captured in the last month. Now he was giving them to his little cult to torture and play with. _

_That was one thing he wanted to impress upon his unimportant, tiny followers. There was no such thing as honour. Life had no value and unlife had even less. All that mattered were pleasure and power; and Count Dracula was the man with the most power who could bring either pleasure . . . or __**pain**__. _

_The Count once more grinned as he reached for his belt and pulled out a well-oiled percussion cap revolver. The revolving gun was the one thing in the whole castle that was well maintained and working properly. _

_Cocking the gun, Dracula took aim and shot one of his followers down in the courtyard with the same ease as a hunter shooting a partridge. The silver bullets that he carried were instantly fatal and the vampire went down with a shot to the heart. _

_Immediately, the revelry in the court stopped and all the fledgling vampires looked up at their lord and master, the Count. _

"_Sing louder next time! Let your Boyar know that you appreciate all the gifts that he strains to give you!" _

_At this, the fledglings got onto their knees and began to venerate their lord. These specimens had been chosen for both beauty and servility. _

_The Count waved his gun like a sceptre. "Now, if you are done disappointing me you will run to the nearest village and bring me twenty virgins by sunrise or else you shall all feel my sting!" _

_The fledglings ran like their lives depended on it, which they did. _

_The Count smiled. Power was something that he was greatly enjoying so far. As he held the smoking gun in his hand, his body started to melt into shadow. _

_Radu stepped back, fearing his brother's bite. _

"_Radu, I need you to go the court of the vampire queen. Get to know the movers and shakers. Make friends with the "beautiful" people and report to me in secret."_

_By now, Dracula had turned into a mass of shadow, teeth and red eyes. In the moon's glare, the shiny gun caught the reflection of a million forming and unforming eyes. _

_Dracula's voice had distorted into a demonic rumble. "Those little fools I turned will slow down the Iscariot death squad long enough for us to escape. Those Christian fools will expect a grand show, but instead they shall get a disappearing act." _

_In the mere blink of an eye, the shadows, eyes and teeth had all vanished; but in the unlit corners of the room a few squirming things and glistening mouths not of this earth could be seen. "It's about time that the vampire court had a new face," Count Dracula's voice had changed, it sounded like a layer of grime had been lifted off of his vocal cords. _

"_Say goodbye to Count Dracula . . . and hello to Alucard!" he said with the biggest, friendliest, most lady killing grin that had ever been seen. _

_Dracula, now Alucard stood before his brother with hands wide spread. Everything about him had changed. His mouldy garments and stained armour were gone; in their place he wore a clean, fresh smelling red duster and charcoal riding suit. Gentlemanly white gloves covered his hands and the beard was gone. _

_Most changed was his voice. It was world's different from the dog's growl of Dracula. Alucard had a musical baritone voice like a jolly old song and it spoke of volumes of education and breeding. _

_Chuckling, Alucard spun the revolver around his finger and tucked it into his coat. Playtime was over; it was time for Alucard to get to work. He had a reputation to change. _

* * *

The first thought that came into her mind was that Alucard was still out there. He was an old vampire and as a human he'd been steeped in the art of black magic; his control of the witch's crystal ball was proof of that. Though Baba Yaga's grapefruit was probably destroyed right now . . . or not, there was no way to be certain with powerful magic relics like that.

If Alucard came now, he'd be able to kill her just by winking. Hell, with as weak as she was now, a human could kill her.

The Jackal was gone, she was too weak to fight a human, Alucard might still be alive and sunrise was just minutes away and in her current condition she'd burn like a match. In short, she was a woman on the edge of everything and barely clinging to life.

She began to shamble forward like a ghoul. If she could reach an intact sewer then she could hide from the sun in the earth's warm embrace.

Suddenly, a figure loomed from the dust and smoke. Seras screamed and fell back because she thought it was Alucard.

It wasn't Alucard, only his younger brother Radu.

With good light, there was no way that anyone would mistake the two. Radu resembled Alucard but he look—washed up, was the term for it. He had the expression and mannerisms of a man whose every ambition has been crushed, whose every dream has been killed. It wasn't accurate to say that he lived in the shadow of his brother; what he did could hardly be called living.

Seras gazed upon Radu's downturned mouth, like a sad fish and immediately felt a profound sense of connection to this poor thing. Since he'd become a vampire, he'd done nothing except try and work to earn his brother's forgiveness for Vlad the Impaler's long dead Queen, Elizabeta. Naturally, Alucard only took advantage of his brother.

Permanently crippled by the tortures of the last vampire monarch, Radu was a weak shade of a vampire who needed his brother's protection. Frequently, Alucard's many gangs of thugs would corner and torture and rape Radu.

Then Alucard, far from protecting his brother or showing any form of concern, would more often than not participate in the rapes and beatings.

Radu looked at Seras with dull pink eyes that were perpetually watery, as if he were always on the verge of breaking into tears.

"Brother," came Radu's voice. It was a smooth and lovely voice. It was easy to see why they called him the handsome. If he ever did smile, it would charm every woman in a hundred miles and even make some of the men flustered; not that he'd smiled in the last fifty years.

Seras spun around and sure as sin, there was Alucard. Unlike Radu, he was a bestial creature. An evil, frightening monster who would eat those who opposed him.

Alucard's makeup was smudged and dirty. His hair was scorched and he was pissed as hell. "What have you done?" Alucard's voice was a dangerous growl. His anger was so great he couldn't even speak his brother's name.

Seras watched them with morbid fascination. She honestly had no idea what Alucard was going to do. He was nothing if not unpredictable, although sooner or later he always became violent.

Alucard and Radu stared at each other. Even smudged and burned, Alucard still looked far more powerful and impressive than Radu would ever be.

Seras noticed something else about Alucard; he was carrying a gun. A massive two foot long pistol and silver plated, not less. Written on the side were the words ".454 Casull Auto." She was willing to bet any money that the ammo carried in that gun would be fatal to vampires. Even less doubtful was Alucard's willingness to use the gun. The only variable was how long he'd be willing to listen to explanations before killing everyone.

Alucard held out his arms in a gesture of outrage; like an angry parent scolding an errant teenager. "Who's taken care of you, Radu? Who's provided for you in fat and lean times?" He honestly sounded hurt by his brother's betrayal.

"You're my brother, Radu!" he raised his voice, emotion and hurt seeping into the words of the vampire king. "I protected you and this is how you repay me?"

He shook his gun and bared his teeth. Even Seras half believed that he was being honest and sincere with his brother. "I'M YOUR BEST FUCKING PAL!"

"You're not my friend," said Radu.

Alucard stopped in his tracks, like an animatronic puppet stopped in the middle of a performance and left there to gather dust until maintenance could be made.

Radu repeated himself. "You are not my best fucking friend." He said it with a strength of conviction and honesty that was missing from his earlier mannerisms and speech. It was as if the admission that his brother was not working in his best interest gave him strength. The truth was setting him free.

Suddenly and without warning, a look of incredulity crossed over Alucard's face. Now this time he was really being honest. In all his wildest dreams he'd never thought that Radu would actually see through the ruse and see him for what he really was.

Alucard started to laugh, a low, amused chuckle. Every bit of outrage and brotherly affection was gone from him. He started to laugh like a comedian whose audience finally understood the joke he was telling.

He let his shoulders drop and he threw back his head to stretch out his neck. "Yeah?" he asked. "Oh yeah?" he asked once more.

His leaned forward and using his jaws he pulled back the slide on his gun, running his sensitive tongue down the silver plating on the Casull. "Okay superstar, let's assume for a moment that you're not friends with me."

He turned and lazily pointed his weapon at Seras. "As for you, police girl, you'll be staying right here; I'll need you in just a moment."

Alucard turned to Radu.

Smoke was rising from the crater and the air was already thick with both smoke and the sirens of emergency vehicles as the authorities struggled to cope with massive loss of life and property damage. One fortunate side effect was that all the smoke and ash blocked the sun and mixed with a natural rain to form a dense fog. ]

Already it looked to Seras that outside her little bubble with Alucard and Radu there was nothing. She'd already lived with him and his madness for two years. Just being near him made Seras wasn't to vomit. She'd rather die than go back to being his secretary, not when freedom was so close.

If she could just break off and run away, if only . . .

Alas, the girl stood frozen to the spot; unable to look away from the family feud between five hundred year old immortals.

Alucard grinned. He reached up to his face and pulled off the burnt remains of the handlebar moustache from his face. He twirled the fake moustache between his fingers. "If I'm not your friend then who is? Honestly, who cares about Radu "the Handsome" and it's an honest question."

Radu kept quiet, choosing to opt out of the mind games which his brother was so fond of. Alucard had the ability to turn night into day with his debating and manipulation skills.

"Nothing?" Alucard threw out. "Nothing at all." He laughed at his brother with a decided meanness. "Apparently handsomeness and intelligence don't go hand in hand. Which is why you've always needed me."

He laughed maliciously at his brother and spun his gun around his finger. Thousands of his subjects were dead but he couldn't care in the least. Nobody is irreplaceable, least of all Radu.

"So why did you do it?" he demanded in an acidic tone. "Huh? You want to take the throne? You wanted to get rid of me!" His emotions were rising once more. This time it was pure rage that he was expressing.

"You wanted my title? WAS THAT IT! ANSWER ME!" As Alucard screamed, foam and spit flew from his mouth. In his kingdom there were no challengers to his rule, no matter how weak. Radu would die for crossing him. He was an autocrat; his word was the word of god.

He screamed more at his brother, louder; he didn't care who was watching or who heard. The force of his yelling caused Radu to step back, but not to shrink. He was terrified of his brother. He'd been terrified of him for years but now was not the time to give in.

For all his finery and numerous titles, Alucard was little more than a bully; taking out his rage on those weaker than him and cheating or killing those who were stronger.

"WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO DO IF I WAS GONE? TELL ME!"

Incoherent with rage, Alucard pointed his gun at Radu. "You wanted to make an enemy of me! I'm the Sacred Ancestor!"

Unexpectedly he took his gun and put it to the side of his own head. He thumbed off the safety of the heavy calibre gun. Alucard's face was a frightening horror mask as he held the gun to his own head. "You couldn't kill me even if you wanted to, you weak coward!"

He ran his finger down the trigger. Only a few feet away, Seras eyes widened as she witnessed the perverse spectacle.

"You wanted to get rid of me?" Alucard taunted.

"You want to get rid of your loving brother?" his eyes rolled in their sockets and his tongue smeared the black lipstick on his full lips.

"Click!" Alucard crowed. "Bang!" he shouted and he pulled the gun back and forth, to and from his head. "Boom!"

_BOOM!_

The gun went right off at the same moment Alucard pressed it to his temple. His corpse fell to the ground with a thud.

Seras jumped and screamed with fright. She didn't think he'd actually do it but he really shot himself.

Radu for want of a better word just looked miserable. His brother's antics were sucking up his hope, his spirit and his will to go on. He wanted this to be over but he knew that Vlad could never turn down a chance to give a victim one last twist of the knife.

Alucard lay in a heap on the dirty ground of the alley. It was fitting that a piece of shit like him lay lifeless among the burning ashes of Sophia, Bulgaria. Smoke rose up from the barrel of the Casull.

Seras looked at Alucard. Her luck wasn't good enough for him to really die, but she could hope.

"HA-HA!" Alucard cried out as he sprang up from the ground; his eyeball gruesomely hanging out from its eye socket and dangling down his cheek. Red blood now stained the already dirty and smeared white grease paint. A smoking bullet hole in his head rapidly showed off torn and bleeding brains which slowly oozed down his head and down his neck in a sticky waterfall of gore. "STILL HERE RADU!"

Gruesomely he grabbed his dangling eyeball and rudely shoved it back into the socket. Instead of staying in the destroyed orbit, Alucard's eye half fell out and began to look off in the opposite direction of his unharmed eye. Black blood oozed out of the corner of his eye like corrupt tears.

Alucard began screaming more at his brother, hoping to cut him with words and possibly get him to kill himself. "I gave you everything you wanted and you stab me in the back! Is that how you repay kindness?" As he shouted down his brother, he frantically tried to shove his damaged eye back into the right place but it repeatedly resisted his efforts, even falling out back onto his check again.

At last the No-Life king just ripped out his damaged eye socket, leaving behind a bloody whole which was slow to heal from the blessed shot.

"Look here Radu", he taunted. "Don't look away," he said with perverse playfulness.

Radu winced and started to turn his gaze as he saw his brother shove a white gloved finger into his gouged eye socket. There was a squelching noise that made Radu want to wretch.

Alucard giggled with schoolboy's gross delight. "Hear that?" he asked as he felt around the inside of his eye socket. "I think I can feel my own brain? Want to touch, brother?"

"Just leave him alone!" Seras cried out. Despite her state, if she was going to die she'd at least do it opposing Alucard.

Alucard turned and jammed a finger at Seras until the bloody fingertip almost touched her.

"Shut your fucking mouth, you cunt!" he snarled at Seras. "Or else I'll rape you to death right here!"

Alucard turned back to his brother and bit out a sarcastic comment. "So you weren't man enough to kill me yourself; I guess a coward can't change his stripes."

Alucard tapped his heels together and rubbed his temple with his gun. "But you know Radu; I fully understand how you were torn up with guilt over causing the death of Elizabeta."

The mention of Alucard's dead wife caused Radu to wince. Whenever Radu became too independent for his brother's taste, he's get the Elizabeta speech again.

Over half a millennium ago, Radu had fought for the Turks against his brother. As a ruse, he's fired a messenger arrow into Vlad's castle containing a message saying that Vlad the Impaler had fallen in battle. Elizabeta had been so crippled by grief at the news of her husband's death that she threw herself out a window. The grief was so great that it drove his brother mad, or so he'd been told time and time again by his brother.

"You caused the death of Elizabeta and when she died . . . I really didn't feel that bad."

"What?" said Radu? The banality of Alucard's statement hit him like a punch in the gut. For centuries he'd laboured under the impression that his brother was torn apart by grief over the death of his loved one and that was why he turned away from God in the first place.

"You see Radu," said Alucard, "I'm not the horrible person you think I am; I've been lying to you from day one."

Radu was hearing the words; he just couldn't process what his brother was trying to say.

"Honestly, I loved Elizabeta with all my heart but she was a colossal bitch." Alucard sounded so sincere and honest about what he was saying; he could turn it on and off like a faucet. In the past he'd learned how to cry on demand, knowing that his brother wouldn't leave him if he pushed the right buttons.

Seras watched as Radu began to shake his head in disbelief. It was pitiful. It was pathetic. Radu's entire world had been predicated around a lie and now it was all tumbling down. The only reason his brother was telling the truth now was because it would twist the knife better than any lie.

"What was it about Elizabeta, Radu?" Alucard asked in that biting, scathing tone. "Did you love her? Did you want to fuck her? Was that it? You wanted to fuck my wife!"

Radu was welling up; he looked like he was going to burst into tears. He was shocked out of his little bubble of sadness when his brother screamed at him.

"DID YOU THINK THAT THE DEATH OF SOME FUCKING BITCH WOULD BE ENOUGH TO MAKE ME SHED EVEN ONE TEAR? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM?"

Alucard's voice became inhuman; the growl of a beast without any form of integrity or honour. "I am the Sacred Ancestor; everything that I say is the truth and nothing but the truth." He waved his gun at Seras. "If I say this whore dies; then she dies! If I say the sky is purple then it is so!"

Alucard put down his gun and his voice became a murderous growl. "But the worst thing you've done to me Radu, is you've forgotten your place." He pointed an accusatory finger at his younger brother who now was just looking traumatized. "And that really troubles me."

The vampire king suddenly grinned, forgetting his anger. To Seras shock, he threw his big silver handgun at her, which she caught deftly.

Alucard wore a most wicked grin now. "Seras, kill him."

Her eyes grew wide. "What?"

Alucard laughed and rubbed his hands together. "Oh yes, just listen to my offer, Police Girl."

"Seras," came a weak, pale voice from Radu. "Run, run for your life."

"Kill him now," said Alucard, "and I will make you my prime minister." His voice now was jolly and friendly. Except for his missing eyeball and smeared makeup, Alucard sounded and acted as friendly as any host of a children's television show. This was the voice he used when he needed to get something he wanted; he was the world's greatest actor.

"Seras, he's a liar and a killer; he'll ruin your life." Seras turned back to Radu, whose whispering voice could barely be heard over the sound of Alucard's rumbling basso.

"Think of it Seras," Alucard said as if she were his favourite daughter and not someone that he'd beaten, raped and tortured daily just for his own insane fun. "You would have position, privilege and rights! Gold, blood, sex, it could all be yours and you would answer only to me!" He was really using his best car salesman impression now.

Alucard could have killed Radu at any time; it was simply that watching Seras do it would give him a perverse pornographic pleasure.

Seras's head was spinning. He'd tried to eat her soul earlier tonight and now, "You want to pay me to kill you brother?" the words sounded even more insane that she was saying them out loud.

Alucard looked at her just as his eye began to regenerate. "Seras, if it wasn't for Radu then I would still be with my beloved Elizabeta. Radu is a traitor and a liar and he poisoned the one bright light of my life." He was suddenly as sad as Radu looked. It would be easy to think that he really loved Elizabeta just by looking at his sad face. The smeared clown's makeup only now served to make him seem more pathetic and even a little bit sympathetic.

Seras couldn't get a word out. The gun in her hand felt like it weighed a thousand pounds. Overhead the sun had risen but was still blocked by the ash and smoke. In the grey twilight it really felt like Seras was trapped in limbo; home of unbaptized babies and pathetic vampires like her who never did anything to stand out in the crowd of the undead. As far as vampires went, Seras was a rather pathetic creature indeed.

She stared down Radu and felt the gun's weight in her hand. Alucard still wore that mask of sadness, but his burning red eyes instilled a core of fear in her of what he'd do if she refused him. She still feared and hated him but mostly feared him. What else does a person feel for someone that has had total control over their life for nearly two years? For two years Alucard had told her what to think and how to dress and if she behaved then the best she could hope for was a reduced punishment. It was like being in the worst marriage in the world.

The words came out before Seras could stop them; really all she wanted to do was delay the decision. "I-I'm not a murderer!" she wanted to sound defiant but really she just sounded pathetic. Only Alucard could reduce her to the shattered little girl she'd been after her parent's death.

Again Alucard's honeyed voice reached Seras's ears; he'd never been this charming when he'd mercilessly ground her under his boot every day. "Seras, I want you to do what is right," he sounded like he did too. But then his voice became tinged with avarice. "All I have to do is snap my fingers and all you have to do is pull the trigger; do it now and ascend to my side."

"Seras," Radu pleaded, "This could be your last chance to escape."

Alucard was confident that she'd kill his brother; it would make him very hard in the pants to see his brother killed by such a pathetic vampire. Oh well, as much as he liked strong women he hated women who acted and thought for themselves. Hopefully with Seras wouldn't suffer from that problem. Then s

She said a word that Alucard wasn't used to hearing.

"NO!" she shouted.

Immediately, Alucard dropped the warm and lovey dovey act. "What do you mean? I am the No-Life King; you can't say no to me!"

Shrieking, Seras threw down the casull, causing the gun to break. Alucard could only look on in shock.

"No," Seras said. "After all you've taken from me and all that you've done; I'll die before I spend another minute with you!"

Alucard growled and pointed at his brother, who stood transfixed. "He deserves whatever happens to him. You need me and so did he before he marked himself for death."

Seras's shouting sounded like an angry kitten but her intention was clear; she'd thrown off the shackles and was going before Alucard regained his composure and devised some unspeakable torture for her. "Do it yourself!" she reminded the two brothers of nothing else than a petulant child.

Then Seras was gone; no warning, no final word and no goodbye.

Alucard watched her run away for one brief second before looking at his brother. "Well," the word was much like a block of ice; cold and flavourless. His lips pulled back to show off an enraged grin. It was the face of an animal. "I'm going to rape and kill you, you fuck!" he jeered at his brother and charged forward with grabbing hands extended. "And then I'm going to eat you."

Drool was running down Alucard's chin by now; he was looking forward to eating his weaker brother. However as he reached his brother, Radu simply vanished.

The older brother stumbled and looked around for his younger sibling.

Glamor! It had just been glamor; Radu was a master of it and he'd pulled the wool over his dear brother's eyes.

Alucard spun around as he heard his brother's voice coming from everywhere.

"_Brother, I know you can hear me; for once just shut up and listen_."

Alucard snarled but he managed to turn down his anger enough to bite out a response. "You don't tell me to shut up; you`re just a worm, only—

"_Brother, I`m leaving you forever. Don`t try to find me, I`ll always be one step ahead. Find some other pawn to do your dirty work. I wash my hands of you."_

Then he was gone and Alucard was left standing alone.

With nothing and nobody to scare or boss around, Alucard clenched his hands into fists and just _raged_. He was furious; beyond furious even. The muscles in his neck bulged and his sneer or anger was so tight on his face it looked like his cheeks were going to split and rip. The crimson orbs that were his eyes shone light flashlights and bulged so much they were in danger of falling out.

He no longer even looked remotely human. He was in that moment when nobody else was watching him, a freak; a broken and damaged freak who shouldn't even have been alive. This is what serial killers look like when they're on death row and their tremendous intelligence and charm have finally failed.

For Alucard this was like a repeat of his death as a human. Despite his best laid plans, everything and everyone had failed him. He'd scorned and spat in the faces of his Christian allies. The Hungarians wanted him dead as badly as the Turks and he hated Matthias Corvinas just as much as old Mehmet. He had no allies, no friends and no lovers. There were only slaves and flunkies and now most of those were dead.

Suddenly Alucard smiled. All hope was not lost. Right now his armies fighting the rebellions abroad hadn't had a chance to hear of this incident. He could still rush out to another continent and take the helm of one of his remaining armies.

The possibilities were limitless. Like Hitler, Alucard didn't care if his empire lived or died as long as it brought him glory. Vampires could be replaced much more easily than humans.

So using the smoke and ash as cover, Alucard vanished to continue fighting his war. Because unlike Darth Revan, Alucard believed in victory at any cost; no amount of loss of life, money and equipment was unacceptable.

It was time to raise the stakes.

Seras ran as fast as she could, drawing on energy reserves she didn't know she had. It felt like no matter how far she ran, the nightmare never ended. Alucard was still alive and it was her greatest terror that she would see him whenever she looked over her shoulder. So this was why women in abusive relationships feared escaping. Not that Seras was in a true relationship with Alucard; it was more like parasitism what they had and Alucard was the parasite. He'd shown as much consideration for her as a leech for its prey.

She ran until she could run no more. Seras panted out of habit rather than need for air. Even through the thick smoke, the sun was hurting her eyes.

The girl took a shock when the slab of broken concrete she was standing on moved. She fell over and saw something muscly and studly rise up from the earth like a Greek god being born.

"Captain!" Seras cried out as soon as she saw the mop of handsome blonde hair and bright piercing eyes. Once more she drew on those hidden reserves to leap forward and hug the Captain's wide body; her face pressed against his sculpted washboard abs.

Immediately, she felt warmth as the Captain's giant arms grabbed around her gently. She'd never felt so secure in anybody's grip before. She felt like here not even Alucard could touch her.

"Get off of him you bitch!" a shrill Bulgarian voice yelled.

Seras groaned. Too bad that her of all people had to ruin the moment.

Tedora the underage was still alive. Seras was a little upset that her least favourite person had survived. The Captain had probably saved her, given that she was rising up from the hole in the shattered pavement that the Captain climbed up out of.

Seras growled slightly and narrowed her eyes at Tedora. She was looking good for a vampire who had survived a small nuclear explosion. Her top was completely torn off; her tiny A cup boobs bounced in the sooty light. Of course she'd been a professional brothel keeper and semi-professional slut for so long that a little toplessness didn't bother her.

Tedora began to scold both Seras and the Captain. Even though he was a male prostitute, Tedora was still bitchy about other women touching him. However Seras was even bitchier than Tedora.

"Fuck off!" she yelled at the teenaged Bulgarian vampire. She was in no mood for bullshit spoiling this heartfelt and touching moment.

Results were instant. Tedora went on the defensive, raising her hands and professing that Seras should calm the fuck down and such. Still, Tedora couldn't do anything about the ball of jealousy burning in her stomach. The Captain had always been professional and courteous with the women he'd been paid to pleasure. This was the first time that she'd ever seen him give someone a . . . a-a hug.

She was especially mad at the Captain now because he hadn't paid for those hugs. The Captain was the best prosti-dude on the market anywhere. If he went around forming emotional attachments to women willy nillly then he might just give up the business and go back to what he did before, which involved working for Nazi scum and some cockamamie scheme in South America.

Suddenly, Seras and the captain pulled apart and kissed each other deeply. This made Tedora cringe even though she'd done sexual acts a thousand times filthier and more depraved than a real kiss; largely because the Captain wasn't kissing for money!

Still, part of the reason that Tedora felt so much rage towards Seras was the special spot she had with the Captain. Captain didn't treat the other ladies as good as Seras; not to say that he slacked off. In her heart of hearts, in a part of herself that she'd long buried; Tedora was jealous of Seras. She wished that in the early years of her becoming a vampire there had been someone to love her.

For Seras, this was the best kiss ever. It wasn't just a kiss; it was a curl you toes and butterflies in your stomach type of kiss. His lips were warm and he tasted musky and manly. Maybe he was only a prosti-dude but no man made her feel like he did. Not to mention the fact that he beat the living hell out of Anderson's faux holy ass. That went a long ways in cementing his place in her heart.

Suddenly, the Captain pulled away from the kiss. Seras never wanted the kiss to end; it was like she was cut off from air. Two years as Alucard's slave had skewed Seras perception and need for men. She'd never needed men before, she wasn't one of those women who fell apart becase a man left her; but all she could think about in her mind was that the Captain wouldn't leave her, please.

Seras watched with fear as the Captain took Tedora's hands in his own and communicated silently with the teenaged vampire brothel keeper.

The worm of fear churned faster in Seras gut as she observed Tedora's eyes widen with fear and shock. "What do you mean, you're leaving!"

Seras's eyes widened with shock. No, there was no way that the Captain could be leaving; not at a time like this. Feelings of denial, anger, fear and loneliness swept through her faster than she could handle. The feeling was so intense that immolation by the sun would be a pleasure compared to this hell.

She was so caught in the tar pit of her own emotions that she barely noticed the Captain walk back up to her and take her small hands in his big ones.

As she looked up at him, she felt tears blur her vision for the first time. Tiny streams of blood ran down her cheeks as she looked at the Captain. Her voice was the tiniest, softest mouse squeak ever heard. "Are you really leaving?"

Staring hard into the Captain's eyes, Seras saw pain, desperation and loneliess; yes, she also saw affirmation in his eyes. He was really leaving her and it hurt more than any of Alucard's insane and fucked up tortures.

Reaching into his back pocket, the Captain pulled out a small slip of paper of some sort. Before Seras could reach the paper he handed it to her and stepped back. Sadness was in the deep blue eyes of the Captain; it would not be the first nor the last time he'd experience sadness such as this.

Seras looked down at the paper the Captain gave her. It was a telephone number; it almost made her want to burst out in mad laugher. He was leaving, but he was leaving her a telly number as if he were any other regular joe leaving his girlfriend for a long business trip. Seras couldn't help but stifle the giggles she felt; knowing that bursting out into laughter would only made those nearby conclude that she really had gone mad.

Perhaps she had gone mad if she'd fallen in love with a man who'd never spoken a single word ever to her and was paid to have sex with women.

Then . . . Seras shut down all her emotion. She turned it all off like a faucet. To the Captain she presented nothing more than a stiff upper lip; mark of the British. Her eyes dried and she brushed away the blood tears from her cheeks.

Straightening out her slutty outfit from tonight's fucked up performance, Seras looked presentable and if not alright then at least normal. It really did feel good to just be allowed a minute to tidy up her hair and top.

At least, she breathed out. She held out her hand and took the Captain in a formal handshake. Now was not the time to cry; she'd cry at a later time but not now. "Goodbye Captain; thank you for all you've done."

Somehow sensing that any intimate goodbyes would unravel Seras totally, the Captain snapped he a sharp salute; the best he'd done in decades. Then with a mighty leap, the Captain was gone just as the ash clouds began to dissipate.

Turning to Tedora the Underage, Seras gave her a handshake; although Tedora just looked at Seras like she'd really lost it. "Goodbye Tedora; It was a pleasure working with you."

"Uh, right, bye." Then Tedora was gone; she teleported her topless self out of there.

Seras had no such powers so early in her life as a vampire, so she just ran to the nearest bit of Bulgarian dirt and burrowed into it like a mole.

Protected from the sun and from other people by the rich earth that had been buried by concrete for so long, she was at last safe to express her emotinos.

Entombed in the soil of eastern Europe, Seras began to sob and cry herself to sleep. Though she was sad that the Captain was gone, she was mostly crying with relief. Being away from Alucard finally—it was like being cured. She cried because at long last she was free.

* * *

Well that's the end of that :D I hope you guys enjoyed this. And while I said I would end this, I'm not going to. I'm going to keep going with this for as long as I can because it's just too much fun ;)

But if you want an amazing, uncompromising look at Alucard, look up Captain Lycan's crossover _Hellsing X _or his equally great _Hellsing X: Evolution_. I highly reccomend it folks ;D

ta

Master of the Boot


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